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From: cjdb@sphinx.UChicago.UUCP (Charles Blair)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: My first baby
Message-ID: <921@sphinx.UChicago.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 30-Jul-85 17:35:17 EDT
Article-I.D.: sphinx.921
Posted: Tue Jul 30 17:35:17 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 1-Aug-85 07:38:11 EDT
References: <3484@cornell.UUCP>
Organization: U. Chicago - Computation Center
Lines: 6
Keywords: I'm so excited!

>    Also, if I marry the baby's father, he'll have the right to tell me what
>to do and how to bring up my child.  On the other hand, if I don't marry him,
>he'll be under no legal obligation to help out, but also won't be able to 
>tell me how to do things.

Since you're open to advice (and I do think the issue is of general interest) here goes.  Tell *me* what to do? *My* child? My wife doesn't tell me what to do, nor do I tell her what to do, since we consider our child to be just that, *our* child.  Instead, we try to isolate potential areas of conflict in our child-rearing philosophies and try to resolve them in advance of our having to apply them.  I think if you began with the idea that the child is something to be shared, and not monopolized, you might have a way out of the dilemma you seem to have set yourself at the start. In any case, congratulations!