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From: sunil@ut-ngp.UTEXAS (Sunil Trivedi)
Newsgroups: net.nlang.india
Subject: Re: Indian and American culture.
Message-ID: <2057@ut-ngp.UTEXAS>
Date: Thu, 18-Jul-85 22:22:10 EDT
Article-I.D.: ut-ngp.2057
Posted: Thu Jul 18 22:22:10 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 20-Jul-85 17:23:52 EDT
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From: raghu@rlgvax.UUCP (Raghu Raghunathan) Message-ID: <693@rlgvax.UUCP>

> 	In fact, in the upbringing of children (especially girls),
> 	individuality and creativity are often looked down on, whereas
> 	sociability and "pleasing one's elders and superiors" is
> 	encouraged.

ESPECIALLY GIRLS have the duty to 'please the elders', whereas the boy's
duties include taking care of the parents in old age and producing off-
spring to carry on the family name.  Consider what a girl has to do to and
what a boy has to do be ostracised by his/her family.  Girls are guided to
marriage, while boys are guided to work/education.

>		 ...  In India, all the decisions for a child (say
> 	till he/she is 18) are made by his/her parents. Under such
> 	upbringing, it is practically impossible for a young person to
> 	make a major decision (like choosing a mate) when that decision
> 	is the first decision he/she will make in life.
 
If they have the courage, they could 'elope' (in the case of girls) or
threaten not to be 'married under God' (in the case of boys).  I've known
many cases of the former so I guess women are getting stronger.  I also
know of many cases of the latter.  Maybe the influence of the family is
fading in this day of mass education and high tech.  But when will this
touch the countryside, the villages, and those communities where education
is not strong?  What is the Gov't of India doing in this area?

> 	Some American males may bring home their dates for their parents to
> 	meet, but (in my limited exposure to American culture) I find
> 	most males live apart from the family and many don't even care
> 	to inform their parents of their marriage, let alone of their
> 	dates. I don't know how accurate I am, but in the college I went
> 	to, most male friends of mine expressly didn't care to have their
> 	parents opinion or input in the chioce of their mates, maintaining
> 	that "it was no business of theirs". 

You hit it on target!  When the American male/female brings his/her girl/guy
'home' for his/her parents to meet, he/she is not looking for a scrutiny.
He/She is letting his/her parents get used to seeing them together.  A defacto
marriage?  Parents have almost no position, but coughing up money and showing
up for the marriage.  Consider the Indians who have married non-Indians (which
is quite a lot).  Were the parents considered before the marriage or was it
a 'forced acceptance' for the parents?  The times are changing for the Indian
family.

				 Sunil  Trivedi
	    P.O. Box 8057, Austin, TX 78713-8057   sunil@ut-ngp.ARPA
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