Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site peora.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxt!houxm!ihnp4!qantel!hplabs!tektronix!uw-beaver!cornell!vax135!petsd!peora!jer From: jer@peora.UUCP (J. Eric Roskos) Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social Subject: Re: Salemanship (Warning: long, but entertaining!) Message-ID: <1305@peora.UUCP> Date: Tue, 16-Jul-85 08:22:58 EDT Article-I.D.: peora.1305 Posted: Tue Jul 16 08:22:58 1985 Date-Received: Fri, 19-Jul-85 02:35:06 EDT References: <968@peora.UUCP> <1424@mtx5b.UUCP> Organization: Perkin-Elmer SDC, Orlando, Fl. Lines: 32 Xref: watmath net.singles:7976 net.social:835 > But I believe you should try to emphasize your most attractive qualities > and distract attention from your faults as much as possible. These will > come out soon enough anyway. But why expose them to someone before > that person has first had a chance to appreciate your good points? Actually, I agree to a certain extent with your saying that people should emphasize their good points ... but to themselves. This certainly improves self-esteem, which is an important thing, especially in dealing with this process of initially meeting people, especially given the rapidity with which many people judge others nowadays. However, personally I believe in ``modesty'' and ``humility'' instead. Yesterday while trying to find a passage from Judith Martin to go along with my comments on coffee, I ran across a really outstanding quote on modesty. I wish I had it here, but it is at home; I'll put it down there in the signature line at some future time. But, basically, the idea is this. If you go around saying "I am X" and "I am Y," where X and Y are your most appealing attributes, and someone is attracted to these ... well, supposing you are right, and these are indeed your most appealing attributes... then what is left for the person to discover? It is all downhill from there. I would think that a relationship built on your humbler attributes, and merely fortified by your more spectacular ones, would be a much more durable one. -- Shyy-Anzr: J. Eric Roskos UUCP: ..!{decvax,ucbvax,ihnp4}!vax135!petsd!peora!jer US Mail: MS 795; Perkin-Elmer SDC; 2486 Sand Lake Road, Orlando, FL 32809-7642 [But, at the time you are reading this, probably in New Jersey]