Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site ttidcc.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!ttidca!ttidcc!hollombe From: hollombe@ttidcc.UUCP (The Polymath) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Looking for the painless breakup Message-ID: <565@ttidcc.UUCP> Date: Wed, 17-Jul-85 14:15:35 EDT Article-I.D.: ttidcc.565 Posted: Wed Jul 17 14:15:35 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 20-Jul-85 05:33:02 EDT References: <5557@cbscc.UUCP> <591@unc.UUCP> <854@ihlpg.UUCP> Reply-To: hollombe@ttidcc.UUCP (The Polymath) Organization: The Cat Factory Lines: 31 Summary: In article <854@ihlpg.UUCP> jeand@ihlpg.UUCP (AMBAR) writes: >Yes!!! And I still haven't learned how to do it to my satisfaction (ie, >gently, but clearly--I tend to err on either side, and resulting situations >are not nice.) >I know it's possible--but how? >I will bet that someone out 'there' is thinking, 'You're young--you'll learn.' >To which I reply, how many more people will I hurt before I get my act >together? I'd rather learn from someone else's experience. In 37 years the only way I've found to avoid painful breakups is to avoid committed, caring relationships (not a great solution, but it usually works). Otherwise, a lot depends on the maturity and expectations of the people involved. If you know the relationship isn't going to last, for whatever reason, saying so up front helps. In general, I try to be as gentle as I can about it, and put my reasons for leaving in the best possible light to avoid bruising the other person's ego as much as possible. For what it's worth, it does seem to get a little easier with age. Not that the situation changes any, but one's SOs tend to be more mature and better able to handle it (i.e.: they've learned the futility of making a scene). Or maybe I've just become a little more hardened and selfish (I hope not). -_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ The Polymath (aka: Jerry Hollombe) Citicorp TTI Common Sense is what tells you that a ten 3100 Ocean Park Blvd. pound weight falls ten times as fast as a Santa Monica, CA 90405 one pound weight. (213) 450-9111, ext. 2483 {philabs,randvax,trwrb,vortex}!ttidca!ttidcc!hollombe