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From: jeand@ihlpg.UUCP (AMBAR)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Assertive/less assertive pairings
Message-ID: <889@ihlpg.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 19-Jul-85 13:32:01 EDT
Article-I.D.: ihlpg.889
Posted: Fri Jul 19 13:32:01 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 20-Jul-85 11:52:17 EDT
References: <1031@homxa.UUCP> <26600134@uiucdcs>
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories
Lines: 35

> Another thing I've noticed: I tend to become more assertive with someone
> who is less assertive, and vise versa.  A subtle leadership role comes
> out in me - I mean someone has to say something.  Usually I try to get
> them to talk and come out of their shell.  But these shy types
> are less interesting to me as partners.  I'm better at listening
> and interjecting my thoughts.  Perhaps I don't like the responsibility
> of creating the relationship.  
> simultaneously.
> 
> A question:  How do assertive people feel about less assertive people
> as partners?
> 
> Dan LaLiberte

Mmmmm.  I'm going to be answering from my experience with friendships, both
sexes (not enough experience yet in the partner field! ;-)  I also tend to
adjust to the people I'm with.  With very outgoing people, I can just sit
and listen, contribute whatever strikes me, and have a great time.  With
more passive people, I'll take the role of the storyteller.  But I have had
one or two friends who were so passive that it was an extremely frustrating
experience trying to get anything out of them at all (then again, perhaps
I was too intimidating ;-).  Yeah, it's tough to do the creating of a
relationship, but it's ok, as long as I'm not doing it *all* in very many
of my interactions.  It's too draining.
So, to answer your question, I am perfectly happy with anything down to a
75-25, if that's really what both of us are happy with.  Any less input from
the other person makes me feel that I'm doing something wrong.  ("I know me.  
I've known me for years.  It's YOU I want to get to know.  Why won't you talk 
to me?")
-- 
					AMBAR
                    	{the known universe}!ihnp4!ihlpg!jeand

"To those who love it is given to hear
 Music too high for the human ear." 	--Bruce Cockburn