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From: wmartin@brl-tgr.ARPA (Will Martin )
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: meeting SO's at work
Message-ID: <4@brl-tgr.ARPA>
Date: Thu, 18-Jul-85 16:25:31 EDT
Article-I.D.: brl-tgr.4
Posted: Thu Jul 18 16:25:31 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 20-Jul-85 14:31:07 EDT
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> > I do not believe in dating the women I work with.
> > ... starting more than a
> > friendship with a female employee is something I will
> > probably never do. Anyone else feel that this is a
> > bad idea? 
 
I think that I disagree with this sentiment. However, there is one
important caveat; it hinges on the use of the term "female employee" --
if you are the *employer*, I would tend to agree. When a male boss dates
or establishes a sexual relationship with a female employee, the whole
issue of sexual harassment and differential power in the relationship
arises, and this can be bad, even if there really is no coercion
involved. As far as two equal-level (or nearly equal) employees becoming
SO's, though, that is fine. As a matter of fact, I did it. We've been
married over eleven years so far, now. (So I'm an alien intruder in
net.singles; them's the breaks... :-)

I have long stated that one of the *best* places to meet a mate (or SO,
or prospective partner, or whatever) is at work. The other place is
church. (Interestingly enough, when I met my wife-to-be at work, though
I had stopped attending my family church, she had lately been attending that
very church, though I had never seen her there. She also went to the
same high school I did, but some years apart from me, and grew up [most
of her later youth] about six blocks from where I lived all my life. But
I never met her until we met at work.)

The point is that work is a filter -- you can get good impressions of
the other person's qualities; you are likely to have something in
common, whether it be the work itself, background, skill levels, etc.,
since most large employers tend to hire similar people. So you have some
of the awkward first stages of meeting and getting acquainted taken care
of for you by the context.

Anyway, the voice of experience says that it works...

Regards,
Will Martin

UUCP/USENET: seismo!brl-bmd!wmartin   or   ARPA/MILNET: wmartin@almsa-1.ARPA