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From: ables@mcc-db.UUCP (King Ables)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Re: meeting SO's at work
Message-ID: <257@mcc-db.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 17-Jul-85 19:19:13 EDT
Article-I.D.: mcc-db.257
Posted: Wed Jul 17 19:19:13 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 20-Jul-85 16:14:55 EDT
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[maybe we need SCW - Significant Co-Worker?
 Aiiieee!!  Huge angry acronyms attacking us from all 'round!!]

I always thought it was a bad idea to date co-workers, but I never
had any experiences to back it up.  It just seemed like something
that was dangerous, so I just said I wouldn't do it.

I worked with a woman for about a year and a half and we became VERY close
FRIENDS (that infamous line everyone keeps talking about wasn't
crossed).  We spent so much time together, though, that the rumors
that have been mentioned started anyway.  It didn't bother either
of us much.  In fact, we used to joke that we wished we were having
as much fun as everybody thought we were having!  We both felt
strongly about not dating co-workers, though.

Anyway, I got a new job eventually, and soon after, I couldn't stand
it any longer.  Suddenly I didn't have that easy excuse of "oh, but
we work together" and I realized that that had been the only thing
keeping me from wanting us to get involved.  Eventually we did and
it was some of the happiest time of my life.  Unfortunately (for me,
at least) it's in the past, now, but looking back on it, I don't
feel as strongly about not dating co-workers anymore.  I almost blew
a chance for some real nice times and I don't ever want to do that.
Of course, both people have to be adult enough that if things did
get rocky, the work relationship could still work.  I think we
could have managed that had it happened.  I don't think I could feel
that way about someone who I thought couldn't remain professional,
but, again, with no direct experience, I could be wrong (it's kinda
like the old question if you're facing someone with a gun and he's got
one and you know it's either kill or be killed, which would you do?
You may think or like to think you'll do one or the other, but you
won't really know until it happens [and of course, we hope it never
happens so we don't have to find out!]).

The one thing I did miss were the sexual jokes we used to make as
friends (as above ).  We were always playing on things
we knew wouldn't happen, so it was funny.  Once all of it was
fair game, it lost it's humorous aspect.  Oh, well, you can't have
everything, right?

I suppose I'm re-stating what Kenn Barry said about you may think
you know you don't want to date co-workers, but when you get to
know someone well and your heart says "go for it" you will anyway.
The way I would approach it is: I don't date co-workers like I might
"regular" people I meet (i.e. you meet someone and they're an immediate
candidate for a date).  If you get to know a co-worker well and you
know you get along well and it seems a logical step, go ahead.  I
wouldn't ask out a co-worker everytime I met a new one.  Don't
say you absolutely won't do it (I'M never going to do that again),
just be a little careful.

-King
ARPA: ables@mcc
UUCP: {ihnp4,seismo,ctvax}!ut-sally!mcc-db!ables