Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 (Tek) 9/28/84 based on 9/17/84; site azure.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!harvard!think!mit-eddie!genrad!decvax!tektronix!teklds!azure!chrisa From: chrisa@azure.UUCP (Chris Andersen) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Hurting the other by a "no" Message-ID: <363@azure.UUCP> Date: Thu, 18-Jul-85 21:16:45 EDT Article-I.D.: azure.363 Posted: Thu Jul 18 21:16:45 1985 Date-Received: Sun, 21-Jul-85 01:59:46 EDT References: <5557@cbscc.UUCP> <591@unc.UUCP> <854@ihlpg.UUCP> <750@ihuxa.UUCP> Reply-To: chrisa@azure.UUCP (Chris Andersen) Organization: Tektronix, Beaverton OR Lines: 26 Even though I have limited experience in saying "no" (only had to do it once), I would have to say that the best way to do it is honestly. Don't hem and haw about it, just tell the person that you feel things are not going well and that it would be better for both of you if you stopped where you were and didn't continue the relationship. The other person may be hurt by this, but your only going to hurt yourself by hesitating. My one experience in this area was a fairly clean break. She didn't like it of course, but there wasn't any blowups and no bad feelings (at least not on my side). But I made the right decision because if I had delayed, if I had hesitated, things would have gotten steadily worse and it could have ended on a much sourer note. My advice: be firm, honest, and compasionate. And stick by your decision once you have made it. Life, Love, Laughter, and Hope, Chris Andersen -- "Roads? Where we're going we don't need any roads!" ----------------------------------------------------- tektronix!azure!chrisa