Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site timeinc.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!harvard!talcott!panda!genrad!decvax!tektronix!uw-beaver!cornell!vax135!timeinc!greenber From: greenber@timeinc.UUCP (Ross M. Greenberg) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: More women than men Message-ID: <325@timeinc.UUCP> Date: Thu, 18-Jul-85 08:24:20 EDT Article-I.D.: timeinc.325 Posted: Thu Jul 18 08:24:20 1985 Date-Received: Sun, 21-Jul-85 02:33:42 EDT References: <210@cuuxa.UUCP> <462@unc.UUCP> Reply-To: greenber@timeinc.UUCP (Ross M. Greenberg) Organization: Time, Inc. - New York Lines: 51 In article <5507@tektronix.UUCP> (Moira Mallison ) writes: (quoting me): > >>.... What I've been stating is that >>men, having to be the initiators and having to be the rejectee, are less >>likely to have "someone waiting in the wings". Women, as I have earlier >>stated, would have an easier time finding someone (if they don't already >>have the wing-waiter). > >What I got from Ed's article was that it was your projection that women >needed to have someone waiting in the wings, or the assurance that it >would not be too difficult to find someone else. But (in *his* >experience) the prospect of having/finding someone else has less to >do with it than women willing to *not* be in a relationship rather than >to be in one that isn't giving them what they want. I vote with Ed. > I know an awful lot of women who have opted not to have a relationship until they find a "better" fellow. I know an awful lot of women who are busy turning down dates, or holding off relationships. I know a few men who have more women than they know what to do with. I know a few men who are really hurting due to not having a relationship. Although Ed has made some (conceptually) valid points, I tend to disagree. As long as men are the majority of the initiators and (therefore) the majority of the risk-takers, women can still break up with someone in a less-than-perfect relationship and pretty much rest assured that they will shortly be approached again. True, there are some that are never approached, and some that refuse to allow someone to approach them. But generally speaking, a women *will* be asked out, and then she has the option of accepting of declining. The fear that the initiator goes through in the initial asking is quite amazing! So a man might be hesitant to go through all that fear again. I'm sure that "aggressive women" (amazing: a women does what a man must do day to day, and somehow she is special: "aggressive") feel the same fear. But how many women, what percentage, EVER take this risk? -- ------------------------------------------------------------------ Ross M. Greenberg @ Time Inc, New York --------->{vax135 | ihnp4}!timeinc!greenber<--------- I highly doubt that Time Inc. would make me their spokesperson. ---- "I was riding a wombat this morning, 'till it broke its leg. I had to shoot it" -- Ranger on Camel