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From: fsks@unc.UUCP (Frank Silbermann)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: meeting SO's at work
Message-ID: <642@unc.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 20-Jul-85 16:27:10 EDT
Article-I.D.: unc.642
Posted: Sat Jul 20 16:27:10 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 21-Jul-85 22:44:09 EDT
References: <232@cuuxa.UUCP> <1042@ames.UUCP> <brl-tgr.4>
Reply-To: fsks@unc.UUCP (Frank Silbermann)
Distribution: net
Organization: CS Dept., U. of N. Carolina at Chapel Hill
Lines: 41
Summary: 

In article <brl-tgr.4> wmartin@brl-tgr.ARPA (Will Martin ) writes:
>	When a male boss dates or establishes a sexual relationship
>with a female employee, the whole issue of sexual harassment and
>differential power in the relationship arises.  This can be bad,
>even if there really is no coercion involved. As far as two equal-level
>(or nearly equal) employees becoming SO's, though, that is fine.

Becoming too friendly with ANY subordinate is an invitation to corruption.
If the judge is best buddies with the prosecuting attourney, then the
defendent has less chance of getting a fair trial.  A professional buyer
is less likely to make impartial decisions if he is too friendly with one
of his suppliers' salesmen.  As a matter of principle, one of my best
bosses refused to become personally friendly with ANY of his employees,
male or female.

I agree with you that a man should not date his employees.  Sexual
harassment is a form of corruption, where personal interests sabotage
the boss's ability to make fair judgements.

On the other hand, if there is no direct line of authority between
the two people, then this is no longer a problem, no matter how great
the differential in power.  A large differential of power at work
need not imply a large differential of power in the relationship.
The head of one division may freely date a secretary or clerk in
another division.  A professor should not date his own students,
but he may freely date any other students.

This second kind of differential power is often very attractive.
Some women refuse to consider any many unless he is more powerful
in some important way.  Henry Kissinger said it best with:
	"Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac."
I doubt he would have been able to date all those actresses had he
remained a mere university professor.

>	I have long stated that one of the *best* places to meet a mate
>is at work. The other place is church.
             ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Would you recommend this even to a non-believer?  How bad would it be
to attend church strictly for worldly reasons?

	Frank Silbermann