Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version Tektronix Network News Daemon (B 2.10.2 based); site tektronix.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxt!houxm!mtuxo!mtunh!mtung!mtunf!ariel!vax135!cornell!uw-beaver!tektronix!moiram From: moiram@tektronix.UUCP (Moira Mallison ) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: More women than men Message-ID: <5524@tektronix.UUCP> Date: Mon, 29-Jul-85 00:28:40 EDT Article-I.D.: tektroni.5524 Posted: Mon Jul 29 00:28:40 1985 Date-Received: Thu, 25-Jul-85 07:44:45 EDT References: <210@cuuxa.UUCP> <462@unc.UUCP> Reply-To: moiram@tektronix.UUCP (Moira Mallison ) Organization: Tektronix, Beaverton OR Lines: 35 Summary: In article <181@whuts.UUCP> amc@whuts.UUCP (COHILL) writes: > >Women, even when they are involved in a relationship, have the >opportunity to gauge what their social life will be like *after* the >break-up, just by judging how often they get asked out by men. >Presumably, they will be turning all these men down while still >involved. Men, since they are rarely asked out by women, have no >way of gauging how successful they will be with other women after a >break-up, short of asking women out while still involved, which is >rarely practical. What I (and some others) are contesting is whether the ability to gauge my social life after the break-up has anything to do with breaking up. This seems to imply that women will stay in a SOship that isn't giving them what they want unless they are fairly well assured that they are going to have "another fish on the line" soon. I've just been through this one, so I speak from first-hand experience. It was a difficult choice to make because I genuinely love him, but the chances of my getting what I want/need from him are not good. There haven't been any men hanging around panting :-). The easy thing would have been to let it go on like this for months, because it's basically comfortable. But we were creating patterns that were going to cause pain for both of us. So it was time to call a halt. To be in a SOship is not a necessity; it is a luxury. (Too few people realize this, I think). And if the relation- ship is not good for both of us, it is a luxury that I can't afford. Moira Mallison tektronix!moiram