Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site sphinx.UChicago.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxn!ihnp4!gargoyle!sphinx!mmar From: mmar@sphinx.UChicago.UUCP (Mitchell Marks) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Hurting the other by a "no" Message-ID: <882@sphinx.UChicago.UUCP> Date: Wed, 24-Jul-85 02:15:35 EDT Article-I.D.: sphinx.882 Posted: Wed Jul 24 02:15:35 1985 Date-Received: Thu, 25-Jul-85 21:51:28 EDT References: <5557@cbscc.UUCP> <591@unc.UUCP> <854@ihlpg.UUCP> <750@ihuxa.UUCP>, <1637@hao.UUCP> Organization: U Chicago -- Linguistics Dept Lines: 45 What are "FOCUS" etc? Some kind of change-yourself-around seminars? The idea that you yourself cause your emotions is quite obviously wrong, if you mean it seriously and literally. It might be a very helpful motto, or starting point, for increasing your awareness of emotions and control over what they do to you and you do to them. And in using it that way, you might temporarily and tentatively tell yourself that you believe it as a fact. But don't lock yourself into thinking that it really is a fact -- since, of course, it isn't by a long shot, not (I repeat) if you mean it seriously and literally. One problem with taking it literally and believing it is that then you may start blaming other people for their emotions, excessively. In any case, wrong though it is as a serious belief, it's quite appealing, and can lead to lead to something useful. But it's not the discovery or invention of any contemporary movement. One of the most powerful and poetic expressions of this view is in the Enchiridion (also called the Manual or Handbook) of Epictetus, a philosopher of the first and second centuries. Here's the beginning of that text, in the translation of T.W. Higginson: "There are things which are within our power, and there are things which are beyond our power. Within our power are opinion, aim, desire, aversion, and, in one word, whatever affairs are our own. Beyond our power are body, property, reputation, office, and, in one word, whatever are not properly our own affairs." The entirety of section VIII: "Demand not that events should happen as you wish; but wish them to happen as they do happen, and you will go on well." And from section XVI: "When you see anyone weeping for grief, either that his son has gone abroad or that he has suffered in his affairs, take care not to be overcome by the apparent evil, but discriminate and be ready to say, "What hurts this man is not this occurrence itself--for another man might not be hurt by it--but the view he chooses to take of it.' " And so on. Very beautiful writing, and a view which is stimulating and can be comforting when you need it...but bleak as hell in the long run. -- -- Mitch Marks @ UChicago ...ihnp4!gargoyle!sphinx!mmar