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From: hammond@steinmetz.UUCP (Steve Hammond)
Newsgroups: net.religion,net.singles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: marriage = commitment
Message-ID: <203@steinmetz.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 24-Jul-85 09:44:32 EDT
Article-I.D.: steinmet.203
Posted: Wed Jul 24 09:44:32 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 26-Jul-85 07:11:15 EDT
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Organization: GE CRD, Schenectady, NY
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> 
> My experience with "marriage ruining things" has not to do
> with the "commitment" involved but with the baggage that the culture
> adds to a marriage.  When two are living together they are equal
> partners -- if both are working, they expect to keep working.
> Once married, though, there is the role of the stay at home
> house wife that is now a possibility.  These things that "hang on"
> the roles associated with a marriage cause most of the tension
> that can destroy a relationship that was once "good" before the
> marriage.
> 
>    ..!{decvax,ucbvax}!sun!plx!adams             -- Robert Adams

Not being married...
I cannot imagine the kind of "baggage" that Robert speaks of.  I do
know that there is no "baggage" clause in the marriage license or
in the vows unless *you* put them there.  Why can't a couple continue
to both work and seek active careers just as before?  The baggage
is *your* own preconceived notion.  Please don't try to pass off the
tension as something that society puts on a marriage.  If that was
the entire story, this institution be in serious trouble today.
(I just saw in this mornings paper that there were roughly 3 times
as many marriages as divorces in NY during 1984.  It can't be all
that bad.)  I just can't believe that the equal partners aspect has
to dissolve once you tie the knot.  I think that a "partners"
concept adds all sorts of nice connotations to a marriage.

-- 
  Steve Hammond   arpa: hammond@GE   uucp: {...edison!}steinmetz!hammond