Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site pucc-h
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxn!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!CS-Mordred!Pucc-H:abv
From: abv@pucc-h (David L. Stevens)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Emotions and choice
Message-ID: <2143@pucc-h>
Date: Wed, 24-Jul-85 20:43:25 EDT
Article-I.D.: pucc-h.2143
Posted: Wed Jul 24 20:43:25 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 26-Jul-85 08:18:35 EDT
References: <5557@cbscc.UUCP> <ihlpg.816> <591@unc.UUCP>
Reply-To: abv@pucc-h.UUCP (David L. Stevens)
Organization: PUCC Unix Group
Lines: 24

...a third-hand quote out of context:

>>> I'm a (almost totally) self-actualized individual and I  <--- from me. [sic]
>>> KNOW that my emotions are my own CHOICE.  Yes,
>>> folks, choice.  [HOFF]

	When the emotion is pain, and the "choice" is happiness, the apropriate
term is DENIAL. In extreme cases, this is *certainly* not a solution, though
it may help smooth things until you're more prepared to deal with things.
	I know the original context was rejection in a first-date request, or
some such, but I *hope* you're not advocating this for serious emotional
problems. Divorce, the death of someone close, and the like MUST be dealt
with, and pretending you're happy is self destructive. That much I think is
obvious, and I don't see a clear dividing line for when you should start
denying (I'd say never).
	A truly self-actualized person would accept the pain, but try to put
it into the context of the rest of his/her life. That means enjoying other
things (and people) where you can, but admitting that rejection hurts, and
looking beyond the pain to ways of reducing future risk. Use pain to your
advantage; accept it as a part of life, and a challenge to do better, but
DON'T bury it in the hopes that it will go away.

						+-DLS