Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/5/84; site uvaee.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!harvard!talcott!panda!genrad!decvax!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!uvaee!cff From: cff@uvaee.UUCP (Chuck Ferrara) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread Message-ID: <367@uvaee.UUCP> Date: Wed, 24-Jul-85 11:25:46 EDT Article-I.D.: uvaee.367 Posted: Wed Jul 24 11:25:46 1985 Date-Received: Sun, 28-Jul-85 02:00:37 EDT References: <968@peora.UUCP> <1424@mtx5b.UUCP> Reply-To: cff@uvaee.UUCP (Chuck Ferrara) Organization: EE Dept., U of Virginia, Charlottesville Lines: 43 In article <596@unc.UUCP> fsks@unc.UUCP (Frank Silbermann) writes: > >In her book, _The_Truth_About_What_Women_Want_in_Men_, Susan Eno explains >why some women pair up with tough, superficial, uncaring men. >She says that women really want a man who is both -- > > 1) tough, confident, and competitive, so he can protect her > from the world, You mean ALL women want a man to "protect" them? >and > 2) sensitive, vulnerable and caring so she can feel loved. > >It is difficult to find men capable of relating to people in BOTH modes. >So, some women compromise and choose a man who is only 1), while others >settle for a man who is only 2). But, what women really want is someone >who can go either way, depending upon what is appropriate to the situation. >I, myself, am a 2), trying to tack on some 1) characteristics. > Although I consider all these attributes to be positive (for either gender), I get the impression that you want to change so you can find a woman, rather than doing so to become a better person. Though what Ms. Eno says may be true about SOME women, I don't believe any generalization such as that can be applied to ALL women. If you truly believe that you will improve yourself by making a change, there is nothing wrong with it. (After all, a better man can attract a better woman) If you do so only for the sake of finding a woman, it will probably be a superficial change, at best. I find the same type of thing to be true, about people who participate in activities, because they enjoy them, as opposed to those who do so to meet partners. I'm active in an outdooors club here at U. Va., because I really enjoy backpacking , X -Country Skiing and photography, among other things. We also get guys who show up just to meet girls. For that reason, the girls find me more interesting and spend more time talking to me. Another thing is that I'm somewhat older than the undergrad women (I'm a Ph.D student) and I'm usually not interested in them on an intimate level. Of course there are exceptions, but only after I get to know the person better. -- Chuck Ferrara @ U. Va. Dept. of EE; Charlottesville,Va. 22901 UUCP: ...decvax!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!uvaee!cff (804)924-7316