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From: beth@gymble.UUCP (Beth Katz)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: marriage = commitment
Message-ID: <199@gymble.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 26-Jul-85 16:35:00 EDT
Article-I.D.: gymble.199
Posted: Fri Jul 26 16:35:00 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 28-Jul-85 03:26:05 EDT
Organization: U of Maryland, Laboratory for Parallel Computation, C.P., MD
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Chuck Ferrara = >
Steve Hammond = >>
>>
>>Not being married...
>>I cannot imagine the kind of "baggage" that Robert speaks of.  I do
>>know that there is no "baggage" clause in the marriage license or
>>in the vows unless *you* put them there.  Why can't a couple continue
>>to both work and seek active careers just as before?  
>
>But, who stays home to raise the kids? Somebody has to do it. Unfortunately,
>this means one partner must give up a career much too often. Children need
>parental attention and they can be deprived of this if both parents
>continue to work full time. If both partners want to pursue their careers
>full-time, they have some serious decisions to make if they want kids. 

Who says you must have kids?  I realize that Chuck was generalizing,
but most people discuss such things before they get married.  One
nice thing about my situation is that it should be possible for
both parents to spend part of their time with the kids while neither
parent gives up work (but that is one of the perks of teaching).
If you want to have kids and think it is important that a parent raise
them (this is important to me but not to others), then you should
discuss this before you get married.

In theory, marriage and "living together" shouldn't be that different.
In reality, they often are very different.  Nevertheless, I would want
to live with my intended before I married.  I think that day-to-day
living puts a lot of stress (and adds a lot of fun) to a relationship.

But someday, I'd rather be married than "just living together".  I
personally feel that I would like the marriage arrangement, but some
other people don't need it.  
				Beth Katz