Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site rayssd.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!rayssd!hxe From: hxe@rayssd.UUCP (Heather Emanuel) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Re: Collected Communication 101 Message-ID: <894@rayssd.UUCP> Date: Sat, 27-Jul-85 11:32:55 EDT Article-I.D.: rayssd.894 Posted: Sat Jul 27 11:32:55 1985 Date-Received: Sun, 28-Jul-85 08:15:43 EDT References: <610@unc.UUCP> Organization: Raytheon Co., Portsmouth RI Lines: 79 Colin Rafferty writes: > >Have you ever noticed that you can start up a conversation with someone who > >has no "mystique", especially if she is very far from your ideal beauty, but > >not with that raving beauty... > > > >When you're in the bookstore, you can make innocent comments to the so-so > >looking lady next to you, but when it really counts, when that absolutely > >perfect woman... is next to you, not only can't you think of > >anything witty, but you have trouble even looking in her direction. Frank Silbermann replies: > In his article, _Beyond_the_Opening_Line_ (published in 2/80 issue of Oui), > Eric Weber offers a solution to this problem. To paraphrase him: > > If this woman makes you so uncomfortable, then why were you > interested in the first place? It's because she turns you on. > But the moment you approach her, fear robs you of your passion. > Then, when you're "safely" out of range, and it can no longer do > you any good, your horniness returns. Instead of seeing a sexy guy, > all the woman sees of you is a dull, sexless wimp. No wonder > she isn't interested. You mean that in order for me to think that a guy is sexy, he has to be horny?? How uncomfortable for him to have to walk around in a constant state of semi-erection for fear that if he "loses it" I'll think of him as a "sexless wimp"! > In order to be sexy, you must feel sexy. Given. > However, you cannot feel sexy AND simultaneously feel terrified. > You must find a way for your sex drive to overpower your fright > at the critical moment. Now we're getting confused. What does "sex drive" (i.e., "horniness") have to do with the feeling that you are attractive to members of the appropriate sex? That's a state of *mind*, not body. > So, when you approach her, try to maintain your sexual arousal. > Don't frighten her by staring at her breasts, but fantasize > about her as you speak. Stare at her luscious mouth and imagine > what you would like it to be doing to you. Without even being > conscious of it, your whole demeanor will change. You'll have > "bedroom eyes". Your posture and speech will reflect a highly > charged sexual energy. Your body will broadcast subtle signals > (even without wearing tight pants :-) that her subconscious will > pick up. Most important of all, your nervousness will disappear, > and you will be able to demonstrate the vital, magnetic person > you really are. This makes me *SICK*!! Do you mean to say that the only reason you would be interested in a woman would be for what her "luscious mouth" would be doing to you? If I ever had even a clue that those were the type of thoughts going through the mind of a man during a seemingly innocent encounter at a bookstore (or wherever), I would spit out a few un-luscious words through my luscious mouth. To get the reaction of a male to all this, I asked my SO (admittedly a small sample, but consistent with the rest of the net :-)) what he thought about this advice. He said, "You mean all I have to do while I'm talking to a woman is think about her giving me a blow job and she'll think I'm a vital, magnetic person? Wow." > She may think to herself, "This guy isn't classicly good-looking, > but, I dunno, he seems to do something for me." She may think to herself, "This guy is a *jerk*! What a laugh!" -- --Heather Emanuel {allegra, decvax!brunix, linus, ccice5} rayssd!hxe -------------------------------------------------------------------- I don't think my company *has* an opinion, so the ones in this article are obviously my own. -------------------------------------------------------------------- "Ain't life a brook... Sometimes I feel just like a polished stone" -Ferron