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From: hoff@ihuxa.UUCP (GYPSY)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Emotions and choice
Message-ID: <757@ihuxa.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 25-Jul-85 22:16:06 EDT
Article-I.D.: ihuxa.757
Posted: Thu Jul 25 22:16:06 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 28-Jul-85 13:51:18 EDT
References: <5557@cbscc.UUCP> <ihlpg.816> <591@unc.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories
Lines: 22

> 
> 	When the emotion is pain, and the "choice" is happiness, the apropriate
> term is DENIAL. In extreme cases, this is *certainly* not a solution, though
> it may help smooth things until you're more prepared to deal with things.
> 	I know the original context was rejection in a first-date request, or
> some such, but I *hope* you're not advocating this for serious emotional
> problems. Divorce, the death of someone close, and the like MUST be dealt
> with, and pretending you're happy is self destructive. That much I think is
> obvious, and I don't see a clear dividing line for when you should start
> denying (I'd say never).
> 	A truly self-actualized person would accept the pain, but try to put
> it into the context of the rest of his/her life. That means enjoying other
> things (and people) where you can, but admitting that rejection hurts, and
> looking beyond the pain to ways of reducing future risk. Use pain to your
> advantage; accept it as a part of life, and a challenge to do better, but
> DON'T bury it in the hopes that it will go away.
> 
> 						+-DLS

Very, very well put!  That is why I left the whole article in... re-read it.

		Gypsy (Julie Hoff)   ...ihnp4!ihuxa!hoff