Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site pyuxd.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!mhuxn!mhuxr!ulysses!gamma!pyuxww!pyuxd!rlr From: rlr@pyuxd.UUCP (Rich Rosen) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Hurting the other by a "no" Message-ID: <1347@pyuxd.UUCP> Date: Sun, 28-Jul-85 11:37:18 EDT Article-I.D.: pyuxd.1347 Posted: Sun Jul 28 11:37:18 1985 Date-Received: Mon, 29-Jul-85 07:48:23 EDT References: <5557@cbscc.UUCP> <591@unc.UUCP> <854@ihlpg.UUCP> <750@ihuxa.UUCP> <2390@ut-sally.UUCP> <754@ihuxa.UUCP> Organization: Whatever we're calling ourselves this week Lines: 30 >>> I'm a (almost totally) self-actualized individual and I >>> KNOW that my emotions are my own CHOICE. Yes, >>> folks, choice. [HOFF] >>Okay, Julie, this is great for you--but do NOT decide >>for someone else that his emotions are his own choice. [POOH] > Sorry, luv. If you give someone else responsibility for and > control of your actions and reactions (EMOTIONS, is what I'm talking > of) then you are living through them, not through yourself. If this > is what you want, then it is your choice. (gee, there's that word > again.) [HOFF] I asked you this before, but you seemed to skip over it to give your "yes" answer to my question. Who said anything about giving someone ELSE responsibility for actions and reactions? You may not have the responsibility, but then neither does any other person. The state of your mind is dictated by all the circumstances and events in your life that got you to where you are now. Are those circumstances anybody else's "fault"? Take the raising of a child that experiences the type of family life laced with marital violence we've been discussing. Is it the child's "fault" if he/she is brought up to expect the same sort of marriage life, and to act it out? Does the child have a "choice" to live through and integrate that experience or not? Is it the parents' "fault" when they probably lived through the same thing? Pinning blame is not the answer, and that is all this "taking responsibility (for things you can't control)" concept really accomplishes. -- "Wait a minute. '*WE*' decided??? *MY* best interests????" Rich Rosen ihnp4!pyuxd!rlr