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Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/17/84 chuqui version 1.7 9/23/84; site nsc.UUCP
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From: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (Chuq Von Rospach)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: When are you really free of your X?
Message-ID: <3047@nsc.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 29-Jul-85 03:05:10 EDT
Article-I.D.: nsc.3047
Posted: Mon Jul 29 03:05:10 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 30-Jul-85 06:11:49 EDT
References: <763@abnji.UUCP>
Reply-To: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (Chuq Von Rospach)
Organization: The Dreamer Fithp
Lines: 33

In article <763@abnji.UUCP> nyssa@abnji.UUCP (nyssa of traken) writes:
>Are you really
>free when you say you are?  Am I free of my SO?  When do I know I am?

In some ways. you never get free of someone you care deeply about. What you
need to do is bind yourself to the good times and try to put the bad times
in perspective. You could say that you are 'free' of them when you realize
that you are no longer comparing everyone you meet against your ex --
either in a positive or negative sense -- and start comparing them against
your own hopes and dreams. Until that time, you stand a good chance of
simply making the same mistake again or overreacting in the wrong
directions.

>Also, is it fair to seek a new SO with the other fresh in my mind?  
>Would I be fair to the new SO, or is she just a crutch to help
>in recovery from the XSO?

Seeking an SO is a double-edged sword. You are much more likely to find
the kind of someone you want when you aren't looking. If it still hurts,
you're more likely to do yourself and your new partner harm and pain than
solve anything.

>Is this making sense?

More sense than you might think... More sense than a LOT of the articles in
net.singles currently, too....

chuq
-- 
:From the carousel of the autumn carnival:        Chuq Von Rospach
{cbosgd,fortune,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo}!nsc!chuqui   nsc!chuqui@decwrl.ARPA

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