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From: dross@rocky2.UUCP (David Ross)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Emotions and choice
Message-ID: <118@rocky2.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 29-Jul-85 23:22:24 EDT
Article-I.D.: rocky2.118
Posted: Mon Jul 29 23:22:24 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 31-Jul-85 23:37:41 EDT
References: <5557@cbscc.UUCP> <ihlpg.816> <591@unc.UUCP> <854@ihlpg.UUCP> <750@ihuxa.UUCP> <2390@ut-sally.UUCP> Re: Emotions and choice
Organization: Rockefeller Univ., N.Y.C. 10021
Lines: 43

[]
>>	No one can make you feel (emotional) pain (or any other type of
>>feeling for that matter).  Only YOU can make this happen.

>I agree.

>According to Dr. Wayne Dyer, author of "Your Erroneous Zones", one of the
>major steps to happiness is that since YOU control your thoughts, and that
>your feelings come from your thoughts, YOU control your feelings.

>If external circumstances dictate the type of mood you are in, then if a
>circumstance comes along that "makes you feel bad", you are stuck in a bad
>emotional state until another event comes along to make you feel good
>again.

>                          JGL
>                       !ihnp4!ihplm!jgl

	I don't buy this. It's normal (and usually healthy, if not pleasant)
to feel bad in response to bad events. To take an extreme example, someone
who develops a serious disease and doesn't get worried and depressed is not
dealing realistically with the situation. Your emotions are an indication of
how important a situation is to you. If you're asking someone out on a date,
and you arrange your emotions so that a rejection is unimportant, than an
acceptance also becomes unimportant.

Certainly, it's much less unpleasant if you deal with a significant rejection or
loss by saying, "Well, I'm not going to let this get me down." But if you
don't let yourself feel depression (at least once in a while), I think it dulls 
the elation you feel when things go right.

	Negative emotions can play a positive role. If your behavior has
in any way contributed to being rejected, hurt feelings can push you towards
examining that behavior and perhaps changing it. But without the incentive of
feeling bad, that's not going to happen.

	Of course, it's counter-productive to indulge in depression over the
slightest hurt. But to go to the opposite extreme, and try to avoid negative
emotions (which really amounts to suppressing them) can also be harmful.

			David Ross

			{allegra!ihnp4!seismo}!cmcl2!rna!rocky2!dross