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From: rlr@pyuxd.UUCP (Rich Rosen)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Mike O'Brien on 'human potentialists'
Message-ID: <1359@pyuxd.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 29-Jul-85 19:05:31 EDT
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Posted: Mon Jul 29 19:05:31 1985
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Mike,

POSITIVELY BRILLIANT!!!!!!!  It seems the thing that the "human potentialists"
forget is that they at one time didn't realize this incredible insight they
now have, that they *learned* it:  through circumstance, through therapy,
through an est weekend; and thus they have no right to call the other person
"responsible" for being in the same boat THEY were in before they gained this
valuable (and very powerful) insight.  The very fact that these other people
don't see this as an alternative (taking charge of one's preconceived
emotional reactions), for whatever reason (e.g., they have been so
indoctrinated with the preconceptions that they can see no other way), means
that exercising that alternative is not within the realms of possibility of
"choice" for them.  Until they get that same opportunity that the H-P's had
to learn this way of thinking and acting, they can hardly be held accountable.

If EVERYBODY got the chance to learn to take charge of themselves in this
way (rather than being exposed to a wide variety of other mindsets from
family/church/media/etc.), THEN (and only then) could they even begin to
claim that these other people are "responsible" for their "condition".
You're right, Mike, these people have a lot to say about what may be a very
good thing, but the way a lot of them have been saying it sounds an awful lot
like blame-pinning games to me, even if that's not what they intend.  

So, how can we GET more people to learn to think this way about themselves
from square one?   Teach it to kids in school?  ("Hell, no, that's secular
humanism in action!" :-(  )

> I've been watching with some amazement and a great deal of amusement
> as the human potential movement meets the American public head-on, here.
> Many recent posters on this newsgroup have been espousing a set of
> principles and viewpoints based on self-actualization, human potential,
> and "taking charge of one's life."  I came to the conclusion that there is
> nothing at all wrong with this viewpoint, and quite a bit that's right, but
> the opportunities for misuse are just awful, particularly in terms of
> interpersonal relationships.
> 
> Some recent posters have it right: according to this school, you can't
> help feeling whatever it is that you feel, and it's extremely destructive
> to deny it.  You should, if you want to control your life, acknowledge what
> feel, without being obligated to let those feelings run your life.
> 
> The amusing (but distressing) part comes when people who have grown up
> feeling helpless, but who have turned their lives around through these
> principles, proceed to try to give advice to others about managing their
> pain.  The would-be "helpers" are so dazzled by the possibilities that
> they come across as the most insensitive, lame-brained, selfish bunch
> of clotpoles imaginable.  "What do you mean, you're down and out and
> suffering?  Shape up!  Your emotions are your responsibility and you're
> only down on the floor because you want to be!"  In some sense this may
> be true, but this bald a statement of techniques and possibilities is
> about as useful and appropriate as a sportscaster at a funeral.  Quite
> frankly, the only one I've read who really had an appropriate reaction
> to all of this was Pooh.  Nice going, Wendy!  Human potentialists are
> the lamest bunch of people I've ever seen when a little quiet sympathy
> is wanted.  Maybe I don't feel like turning my life around today!  Maybe I 
> want to have a little help just "having" my emotions, till they run out!
> Then I can take charge of things, with my energy renewed.  Old people
> who manage to become wise instead of childish have known for millenia
> how all this stuff really works.
-- 
"Do I just cut 'em up like regular chickens?"    Rich Rosen    ihnp4!pyuxd!rlr