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From: demillo@uwmacc.UUCP (Rob DeMillo)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Emotions & choice, a comment by an observer
Message-ID: <1342@uwmacc.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 31-Jul-85 19:06:08 EDT
Article-I.D.: uwmacc.1342
Posted: Wed Jul 31 19:06:08 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 2-Aug-85 08:09:12 EDT
References: <5557@cbscc.UUCP> <ihlpg.816> <591@unc.UUCP>
Organization: UWisconsin-Madison Academic Comp Center
Lines: 56

This has been a pretty strange topic...and one that comes up
more then you might think. An XSO used to always state that
emotions were a person's choice and could be controlled by
the individual experiencing the emotion...

I'm a firm believer in the idea that a persons emotional
reactions to given stimuli is a learned behavior that
occurs at a very young age. Naturally, as the person matures,
the base emotional reaction is modified by various situations
thru the person's life experiences - it is, however, slow process.

To claim that "Hey, whatever I do is cool, and however anyone
else reacts to my behavior is their problem" is a cop-out. It
seems to be a selfish way for a person to sluff-off responsiblity
for potentially putting someone in a bad emotional state. (I wonder,
do these people take credit then for putting someone in an upbeat
emotional state?)

This is not to say that bad situations (like sayinmg "no" to someone
when you are asked out) should be avoided, but neither should
responsibility for them. 

As an EXTREME example: a person who is manic depressive frequently
goes into emotional slumps (sometimes suicidal) at relatively
minor stress points in life. If you are the stress point (i.e.
saying "no" to a date), and you push that person over the edge, you
were the stimulus that produced the reaction, whether you want to
admit it or not.

Could that person have controlled his/her depressional outbreak?
Well, think of it this way...if you pushed that person "over the
edge" (whatever that means) could you have controlled and guilt
feelings (or lack or guilt feelings) that arose?

Emotional reactions are completely analogous to physical reactions.
If you poke your hand with a needle, you can (somewhat) control the
jerking of your hand IF YOU ARE EXPECTING the poke - and only then
to some extent. If you aren't expecting it, chances are you'll twitch.

...anyway, the opinions expressed are my own, and I'll try and
control any emotional outbreak if people disagree with it. (:-))


-- 
                           --- Rob DeMillo 
                               Madison Academic Computer Center
                               ...seismo!uwvax!uwmacc!demillo

 
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"...I don't know what this thing does, but it's pointing in your direction."