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From: chrisa@azure.UUCP (Chris Andersen)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Emotions and choice
Message-ID: <398@azure.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 30-Jul-85 23:06:24 EDT
Article-I.D.: azure.398
Posted: Tue Jul 30 23:06:24 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 2-Aug-85 21:58:05 EDT
References: <5557@cbscc.UUCP> <ihlpg.816> <591@unc.UUCP>
Reply-To: chrisa@azure.UUCP (Chris Andersen)
Organization: Tektronix, Beaverton OR
Lines: 46

In article <1355@pyuxd.UUCP> rlr@pyuxd.UUCP (Rich Rosen) writes:
>
>You're absolutely right about treating and helping such a person, but you're
>forgetting one thing.  You state quite clearly that the treatment must make
>the person aware of the beliefs he/she has and must make them aware that
>they CAN choose other, better ways of reacting.  The very fact that they ARE
>*UNAWARE* of the impact of those beliefs AND of the opportunity to make
>other choices means that they are NOT in any sense reacting through choice.
>Since choice implies selecting from alternatives, if one is not aware of
>an alternative, it is not within the realm of possibilities of choice.

Well, I'll have to give this one to Rich.  (and without regrets too)

However, the original matter we were discussing was not violence in the family
but the reactions we have to rejection in relationships.  In that case, as in
the abusers case, one can only choose amongst the possibilities that one knows.
Now, if the person does not know that they can choose NOT to take a rejection
personally, then, yes they do have a much more limited set of "choices" when
it comes to their reactions.

This only indicates to me that if a person does know that they don't have
to take a rejection personally, then that person is a strong individual.  If 
the person doesn't know this, then they damn well should.  Otherwise, they 
won't be able to survive in this world chock full of rejection.

(-: So, shall we find out who's to blame for them NOT knowing this? :-)


Life,
  Love,
    Laughter,
      and Hope,

	Chris Andersen
>
>(I do agree completely about the possibilities of other choices, but, contrary
>to the turn this discussion has been taking, one cannot be considered
>responsible for things like emotions until one is aware of the possibilities
>of controlling them.)
>-- 
>Life is complex.  It has real and imaginary parts.
>					Rich Rosen  ihnp4!pyuxd!rlr


-- 
tektronix!azure!chrisa