Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site unc.unc.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!mcnc!unc!fsks From: fsks@unc.UUCP (Frank Silbermann) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Collected Communication 101 Message-ID: <70@unc.unc.UUCP> Date: Wed, 31-Jul-85 14:27:06 EDT Article-I.D.: unc.70 Posted: Wed Jul 31 14:27:06 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 3-Aug-85 00:40:39 EDT References: <610@unc.UUCP> <894@rayssd.UUCP> Reply-To: fsks@unc.UUCP (Frank Silbermann) Organization: CS Dept, U. of N. Carolina, Chapel Hill Lines: 114 Summary: Colin Rafferty: >>> Have you ever noticed that you can start up a conversation with someone >>> who has no "mystique", especially if she is very far from your ideal beauty, >>> but not with that raving beauty... >>> >>> When you're in the bookstore, you can make innocent comments to the so-so >>> looking lady next to you, but when it really counts, when that absolutely >>> perfect woman... is next to you, not only can't you think of >>> anything witty, but you have trouble even looking in her direction. Frank Silbermann: >> In his article, _Beyond_the_Opening_Line_ (published in 2/80 issue of Oui), >> Eric Weber offers a solution to this problem. To paraphrase him: >> >> If this woman makes you so uncomfortable, then why were you >> interested in the first place? It's because she turns you on. >> But the moment you approach her, fear robs you of your passion. >> Then, when you're "safely" out of range, and it can no longer do >> you any good, your horniness returns. Instead of seeing a sexy guy, >> all the woman sees of you is a dull, sexless wimp. No wonder >> she isn't interested. Heather Emanuel: >You mean that in order for me to think that a guy is sexy, he has to >be horny?? How uncomfortable for him to have to walk around in a >constant state of semi-erection for fear that if he "loses it" I'll >think of him as a "sexless wimp"! No, but he does have to overcome his nervousness and over-inhibition. And since the attempt to inhibit his sexual desire is what CAUSED his nervousness and emotional stiffness in ther first place, the way to prevent it is to STOP repressing the sexual feelings. Frank Silbermann: >> However, you cannot feel sexy AND simultaneously feel terrified. >> You must find a way for your sex drive to overpower your fright >> at the critical moment. Heather Emanuel: >Now we're getting confused. What does "sex drive" (i.e., "horniness") >have to do with the feeling that you are attractive to members of >the appropriate sex? That's a state of *mind*, not body. The distinction between mind and body is an artificial one. The state of mind can affect the state of the body, and also vice-versa. Furthermore, emotions tend to spread from one person to another. When you are among frightened people, you will likely get a bit edgy yourself. Among happy people, your own spirits may improve. Sad people may depress you. Being around horny people may help you get horny, too. Why do women wear makeup? Never mind the older women, who wear makeup to hide signs of age. Why do young women wear makeup? It is to mimic the physical signals of sexual arousal. This may catch the subconscious attention of a man and stimulate his own desire. When a woman is aroused, her cheeks flush, her lips become redder, and her pupils dilate. Thus women apply lipstick, cheek-blush, and in earlier times, bella donna drops in their eyes to dilate their pupils. Makeup is deceptive in that the feelings it simulates may not even exist. This raises some moral questions that don't apply to what I've advocated for the men, since I am merely recommending that the men display their true sexual desire. Frank Silbermann: >> So, when you approach her, try to maintain your sexual arousal. >> Don't frighten her by staring at her breasts, but fantasize >> about her as you speak. Stare at her luscious mouth and imagine >> what you would like it to be doing to you. Without even being >> conscious of it, your whole demeanor will change. You'll have >> "bedroom eyes". Your posture and speech will reflect a highly >> charged sexual energy. Your body will broadcast subtle signals >> (even without wearing tight pants :-) that her subconscious will >> pick up. Most important of all, your nervousness will disappear, >> and you will be able to demonstrate the vital, magnetic person >> you really are. Heather Emanuel: >This makes me *SICK*!! Do you mean to say that the only reason you > ^^^^ >would be interested in a woman would be for what her "luscious mouth" >would be doing to you? Who ever said that was the ONLY reason? But it's reason enough! :-) >If I ever had even a clue that those were the type of thoughts >going through the mind of a man during a seemingly innocent encounter >at a bookstore (or wherever), I would spit out a few un-luscious words >through my luscious mouth. But you are NOT SUPPOSED to know this. Not consciously, anyway. The effects I've mentioned are subliminal. >To get the reaction of a male to all this, I asked my SO (admittedly >a small sample, but consistent with the rest of the net :-)) what he >thought about this advice. He said, "You mean all I have to do >while I'm talking to a woman is think about her giving me a blow job >and she'll think I'm a vital, magnetic person? Wow." That's what I said, when I first learned this. Wow! >> She may think to herself, "This guy isn't classicly good-looking, >> but, I dunno, he seems to do something for me." >She may think to herself, "This guy is a *jerk*! What a laugh!" Better than she should think, "What a nice boy. But I wouldn't go out with him. I just don't feel 'that way' about him." Any strong emotional reaction is better than indifference. Frank Silbermann