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From: stern@steinmetz.UUCP (Harold A. Stern)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: "Surprise" Breakups
Message-ID: <224@steinmetz.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 2-Aug-85 16:10:09 EDT
Article-I.D.: steinmet.224
Posted: Fri Aug  2 16:10:09 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 4-Aug-85 09:04:33 EDT
References: <5557@cbscc.UUCP> <816@ihlpg.UUCP> <190@bcsaic.UUCP> <172@whuts.UUCP> <366@oliven.UUCP> <9472@ucbvax.ARPA>
Organization: GE CRD, Schenectady, NY
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> 
> I have found that "gripe meetings" are a good solution to this problem.
> Early on in a relationship you agree to a weekly scheduled "meeting"
> in which you spend some time talking about problems that
> came up over the past week. The "problems" are typically very minor
> and normally they would not be brought up. The "formal" setting
> of the meeting is a natural place to bring up things that
> seem petty and insignificant in any other setting.
> As a result things do not build up to an explosion.

What's wrong with talking about problems as they come up? I had an XSO
who used to go for weeks without saying a word and then on some given day 
tell me everthing that has been bothering her for the past month. Sorry,
but "You know what I don't like about you? a,b,c,d,...z" sounded much
worse than "Please don't do that - I really don't like it" when some
offense had been committed. Unfortunate - at when there are only about
10 females at your entire school (for a ratio of 379:1), it was too bad
that her "gripe sessions" caused us to break up.

-harold stern

stern%teela@mit-athena
410 memorial drive
cambridge, ma 02139