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From: richl@daemon.UUCP (Rick Lindsley)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Question of the hour. (good :-))
Message-ID: <1003@daemon.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 2-Aug-85 05:00:26 EDT
Article-I.D.: daemon.1003
Posted: Fri Aug  2 05:00:26 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 4-Aug-85 10:12:40 EDT
References: <3371@decwrl.UUCP>
Reply-To: richl@daemon.UUCP (Rick Lindsley)
Organization: Tektronix, Beaverton OR
Lines: 43

In article <3371@decwrl.UUCP> mraspuzzi@kl2116.DEC (Michael Raspuzzi) writes:

From me --
>>So I'm afraid I don't make "the move" too often -- only once that I can
>>think of. And I'm glad when somebody else does because it ends the
>>tension.  (Or when someone clearly states, "if you make a move on me
>>I'll slap you silly").

From Mike --
>I think the fear of "making the move" stems mostly from lack of
>communication between the 2 individuals involved. I am a fairly
>shy person but a woman doesn't have to rip her clothes off and
>throw me on the bed as a subtle hint of what she has in mind.
>.
>.
>But why this pressure on "making the move"? Do you expect sex from
>every woman you date? What ever happened to just going out as friends?

Of course I don't expect sex from every woman I date. I'm afraid my
sample quote was misleading. The original article was a side issue
about aggressiveness, and I tried to keep the answer rather general.

The reason I quoted "the move" is because "the move" can be different
things to different people (at different times). For a long time (for
me), "the move" was figuring out some way to introduce myself. Once I
got past that, "the move" was trying to work up the nerve to ask her
out. Once I got past that, "the move" was trying to figure out if I
gave her a kiss if she might "slap me silly". At any one of these
points the girl (or woman, sorry) might save me the trouble by doing it
first or by shutting things down. I might add that I'm not talking
about steps in one particular date here; I'm talking about a period of
years to figure out how to "read the signals".  As I get more confident
and better at reading the signals, it seems that those things that used
to be difficult for me no longer are.

Probably as a result of my cautious moves, I can say that every girl
I've gone out with I'm still friends with -- even those that I went
with for some time. From what I hear, that's somewhat unusual. Maybe
there are advantages to being overly cautious. But, the grass is always
greener on the other side of the fence, and I can't help but wonder if
"the other half" has a bit more fun.

Rick Lindsley