Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site pyuxd.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!gamma!pyuxww!pyuxd!rlr From: rlr@pyuxd.UUCP (Rich Rosen) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Hurting the other by a "no" Message-ID: <1416@pyuxd.UUCP> Date: Sat, 3-Aug-85 14:23:24 EDT Article-I.D.: pyuxd.1416 Posted: Sat Aug 3 14:23:24 1985 Date-Received: Tue, 6-Aug-85 10:11:56 EDT References: <5557@cbscc.UUCP> <591@unc.UUCP> Organization: Whatever we're calling ourselves this week Lines: 25 > Okay, take this case. The child can refuse to follow in its parents > footsteps regarding marital life. I did it myself. It took many > years to stop reacting to things like my father did (and still does), > but I made the effort and have made many progresses. > What about the parents living through the same thing? It is a fact > that a person who was abused as a child will have a very high > probability of abuseing his/her own child. However, there are > professional groups that teach people how to avoid falling into this > habbit pattern and to get out of it if you have already fallen into > the pattern. With their help, a person can learn NOT to abuse. Is > this not the persons own choice? Is this person not takeing > responsibility for their own reactions? Or is it all the person's > parents doing? What motivates people to seek out such professional help? What if they had also been brought up to think negatively about "shrinks" and "looney bins" and thus avoid ANY psychological help for that reason. Well, they then have to overcome THAT belief. How, by going to a professional group? Eventually, circumstances MAY lead such a person to a point where they do (perhaps because they see no other choice!) seek out help or change themselves, as circumstances led you to do so. *MAY*! If they don't, how can they be considered "responsible", how could they make the "choice"? -- Life is complex. It has real and imaginary parts. Rich Rosen ihnp4!pyuxd!rlr