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From: rlr@pyuxd.UUCP (Rich Rosen)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Emotions & choice, a comment by an observer
Message-ID: <1421@pyuxd.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 5-Aug-85 18:52:52 EDT
Article-I.D.: pyuxd.1421
Posted: Mon Aug  5 18:52:52 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 6-Aug-85 10:57:18 EDT
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> To claim that "Hey, whatever I do is cool, and however anyone
> else reacts to my behavior is their problem" is a cop-out. It
> seems to be a selfish way for a person to sluff-off responsiblity
> for potentially putting someone in a bad emotional state. (I wonder,
> do these people take credit then for putting someone in an upbeat
> emotional state?)  [ROB DEMILLO]

What irks me about some of these same people (many of whom come off of
some grand weekend therapy with this great new insight in their lives)
is the very nature of this selfishness in proclaiming "I'm not
responsible for other people's feelings".  Simple problems in human
communication aside, they use this to their advantage.  Example:  You
agree to do something for a friend.  You don't do it, just because you
choose not to do it, without letting your friend know.  The friend is
naturally upset, but this doesn't affect you, because YOU aren't responsible
for his/her feelings.  But since a lot of people either just aren't that
assertive when it comes to this sort of thing, or because they fear they'll
lose your friendship if they make a fuss, or because they figure such small
stuff shouldn't affect friendships, you "get off scot free".  Even with
"repeated offenses".  This new insight enables such people to do things they
were never able to do before, like taking advantage of their friends without
feeling guilty about it.  After all, YOU aren't responsible for ...

I wonder what it would be like if such people were only allowed to associate
with other est/Lifespring graduates and their ilk.  After months or maybe
years of having other people saying "the hell with you" (after all, that's
what you learn to do if someone pulls the same stuff on YOU!), perhaps a
new age of interpersonal consideration might flower in such people.  (NAAH!)

Bill Cosby made a comment about cocaine in his last movie that's appropriate
regarding some people who've been through these grand weekend therapies. 
Cosby was told by a friend of his that "Cocaine amplifies your personality."
He responded by saying, "Yeah, but what if you're an asshole?"

Of course, this doesn't apply to everyone who's been through such training,
not does it apply to everyone who feels responsible for their entire life.
Only those who foist it onto others.
-- 
Anything's possible, but only a few things actually happen.
					Rich Rosen    pyuxd!rlr