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From: pc@hplabsb.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: Who's watching the kids?
Message-ID: <3005@hplabsb.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 18-Jul-85 14:40:58 EDT
Article-I.D.: hplabsb.3005
Posted: Thu Jul 18 14:40:58 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 20-Jul-85 10:07:18 EDT
References: <395@cmu-cs-edu1.ARPA>
Organization: Hewlett Packard Labs, Palo Alto CA
Lines: 44


	This is always a topic where people can get VERY self-righteous,
defending what they do.  I offer my input not as a defense but just as an
example of solutions that work for some people.

	We have a 2-1/2 yr old boy who is very active.  He is one of the
happiest, most easy-going kids I have ever known.  He's very affectionate,
communicative, and in tune with his feelings.  (all values of mine)  
	I stayed home for the first 4 months, doing little but nursing him,
talking with (to) him, and relaxing (important for nursing & for having a
relaxed kid).  At 4 months, I went back to work 5 hrs/day; his dad works
9 hrs/day.  We had mornings at home together to get the day going at our own
pace.  In the afternoon, Adam went to a small day care center where all of
the staff are exceptionally well qualified and where the philosophy of child
care is explicit & matches our philosophy at home.  He got all of the snuggling,
playing, and communication he could have needed.  Unlike a private home setting,
these people do NOTHING but take care of the kids needs, and the careproviders
are well educated in early childhood development (most private homes are run
by women whose only qualification is that they raised their own kids).
	At 8 months, I returned to work full time (as part-time scientists
aren't taken seriously here).  It turned out that by working full time, I
was less rushed and hassled and Adam didn't have a disruption in his day.
He is still at the same little (12 child/3 morning teachers, 3 afternoon 
teachers) day care center.
	We cherish our time together and I can see the major impact I have
had on Adam's perspectives and attitudes.  I can also see the wonderful things
the staff at his center have given him-- benefits of his exposure to a number
of people with different personalities.  Adam has a very strong bond with his
daddy.  They shower together every morning (since Adam was 6 months old!),
and often go off for a bike ride or a wagon ride to the park on the weekend.
	One has to be prepared to take vacation days as the little one develops
an immunity to viruses (the first year is a dilly), but that happens either
in daycare, preschool, or kindergarten-- wherever the child is first around
other people.

	It's great that you are thinking these things out now!  With such
consideration, your child will be very fortunate.  Good luck.

						Patricia Collins


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