Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site mit-vax.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!genrad!mit-eddie!mit-vax!oaf From: oaf@mit-vax.UUCP (Oded Feingold) Newsgroups: net.women Subject: Anti-rape tactics - a revision Message-ID: <435@mit-vax.UUCP> Date: Sun, 21-Jul-85 16:04:06 EDT Article-I.D.: mit-vax.435 Posted: Sun Jul 21 16:04:06 1985 Date-Received: Tue, 23-Jul-85 05:27:34 EDT Organization: MIT, Cambridge, MA Lines: 61 Summary: Maybe we should move in "better" circles; that's hard work The story so far: Eric McColm mentioned that women's defensive tactics, if known, would likely be foiled, since there's no reason to assume a rapist is unintelligent. Hence any such tactics suggested by men were suspect, and women should decide what response they were comfortable with and keep their plans private. I suggested that people's normal association into peer groups should provide a source of mutual and support, for example a set of known (and accountable) escorts for women walking home at night, after a party, whatever. There have been several negative responses, both in mail and postings, indicating that since rapists and victims often know each other, such a proposal has little merit. Someone claimed that a person who assaulted a woman in the context of walking her home would only be in "deep shit" with his peer group if she was in the group too. [That's a misdirected jab, since were she NOT in the nominal peer group, having friends in common, even if she had a prior association with the man, then the conditions I set forth weren't being followed.] A common theme in these criticisms is that people are involved with peer groups that encourage rape and macho attitudes. > Actually, if anything untoward happens, the woman > must have "asked for it." After all, she let him > walk her home, and that probably meant that she > asked him in, and we all *know* what that means. > > Don't we? > > Especially if the woman was inebriated. Then she is > *really* asking for it. > Ariel Shattan The number and vehemence of such replies gives them a certain cogency. I don't doubt those feelings are sincere. But that cogency depends on the "peer group" being the way it's purported; macho, exploitive (redundant?), unsympathetic... It strikes me that anyone who recognizes such characteristics among their "friends" has the wrong friends. I'll revise my suggestion: Find a peer group that DOESN'T manifest such attitudes. Go to parties among real friends, not men who'll rape you once liquor overcomes their inhibitions. [Consider the joys of not getting plastered at parties, nor going to parties where getting shitfaced is the business of the evening.] If you can't find a set of friends, colleagues, whatever, whom you'll trust not to assault you there's something very wrong. Once you've done that, try my original suggestion. If you're involved with a sexist crowd, you have a difficult readjustment coming, not least of which is rebuilding your self-image (consciousness-raising). Feel free to shoot it down. -- Oded Feingold {decvax, harvard}!mitvax!oaf MIT AI Lab oaf%oz@mit-mc.ARPA 545 Tech Sq. 617-253-8598 work Cambridge, Mass. 02139 617-371-1796 home