Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2.fluke 9/24/84; site tpvax.fluke.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!gamma!epsilon!zeta!sabre!petrus!bellcore!decvax!tektronix!uw-beaver!fluke!inc
From: inc@fluke.UUCP (Ensign Benson, Time Cadet)
Newsgroups: net.legal,net.bizarre
Subject: Jury duty and time flies
Message-ID: <684@tpvax.fluke.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 30-Aug-85 18:22:34 EDT
Article-I.D.: tpvax.684
Posted: Fri Aug 30 18:22:34 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 2-Sep-85 03:41:23 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: The Digital Circus, Sector R
Lines: 53
Xref: watmath net.legal:2239 net.bizarre:1116

*** ERCYNPR GUVF YVAR JVGU LBHE ZRFFNTR ***

In net.legal article 509, Jeff McQuinn writes:

> GREETINGS:
> 
> YOU ARE SUMMONED ...              
> 
> Well that's how it started and the bottom line is that I've been selected
> for jury duty.  I'm looking forward to it because I've never been on 
> jury duty.  I've got some questions that perhaps some experienced jurist
> out there can answer.
> 
>      1.)  The summons referred to serving as a PETIT jurist.  What is a PETIT
>           jurist (as opposed to any other kind)?

Ahyup, there are two varieties of jurist: the PETIT (or TINY) kind, and the
GRANDE (or HUGE) species. The little fellas are only allowed to hang out in
the waiting room killing time with books. The big ones have to actually
decide criminal cases. However, hardware engineers are only selected for
PETIT duty.

>      2.)  I'm a hardware engineer, will that have any bearing on whether I'm
>           actually selected to sit on a jury?

It certainly will. No self-respecting jury these days wants a hardware
engineer to sit on them. Unless you pad your rump, that is.
 
>      3.)  Someone told me to bring a good book to kill time, does anyone have
>           any other advice?

a) Don't use a book to kill time -- bring fruit flies. Fruit flies kill time
   like an arrow. (If sterilized, they are also effective at reducing the
   population of time flies.)

b) Bring a new toothbrush engraved with your name in case you are
   sequestered. Many people don't plan ahead, and sometimes juries get into
   toothbrush fracasses once mungmouth sets in.

c) If you have occasion to speak to the judge, call her (or him) "Your Honor"
   rather than "Your Holiness", "Your Majesty", or "Honorable Mention". One
   caveat, however -- if the letters W, A, P, N, E, or R appear in his name,
   use the honorific "Hey Sludgehead".

Hope that helps.



-- 
			       Ensign Benson
			       -Time  Cadet-
 
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-The Digital Circus, Sector R-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_