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From: al@mot.UUCP (Al Filipski)
Newsgroups: net.bizarre
Subject: Ants/Styrofoam
Message-ID: <245@mot.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 5-Sep-85 19:23:23 EDT
Article-I.D.: mot.245
Posted: Thu Sep  5 19:23:23 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 6-Sep-85 01:14:53 EDT
Organization: Motorola Microsystems, Phoenix AZ
Lines: 35


	One hot day last Summer I was sitting on my back patio drinking a 
gin and tonic when I saw on the ground a faint white ring about 4 inches in
diameter.  At the center was a small white lump. Ants were scurrying around 
and having at it.  At first I thought the lump was a piece of a Mounds bar 
sans chocolate skin. But what was the ring? A fairy ring? Some hitherto 
undiscovered phenomenon? Upon closer inspection I saw that the ants were 
biting off little crumbs of the central lump, carrying them to the ring 
and depositing them there.  The ring was composed of the same substance as
the central lump.  In the true scientific spirit I took a stick and poked the 
lump.  It was not coconut, but styrofoam.  I conjecture that the styrofoam 
for some reason known only to ants smelled enough like food that they began 
to carry it off.  When they got a good taste of it, though, they decided it
wasn't so hot and spit it out.  Now, the ant says to herself, "Foo! Now, 
let's see, what was I doing? Oh Yes, gathering food.  Aha! Here's some." and 
returns to the lump and an infinite loop.  Anyway, I took the styrofoam away, 
put a piece of Hostess Twinkie in its place and addressed the ants, "O fond 
pismires, far better booteth it to partake of this proferred sweetmeat and 
eschew such utterly worthless victuals as ye had formerly; for in thy 
impetuous zeal thou hadst seized upon a wretched morsel.  With this boon 
there shall be joyous dancing in thine emmet halls and thy descendents shall 
wax fat unto the fifth generation." (This is the way you have to talk to ants.)
Well, they thanked me (although I thought I saw one of them wince at my 
mixture of singular and plural forms of address) and that was that.  

	This is all true.  If you don't believe me I have proof: I still have 
the lump of styrofoam in my desk drawer.

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Alan Filipski, UNIX group, Motorola Microsystems, Tempe, AZ U.S.A
{seismo|ihnp4}!ut-sally!oakhill!mot!al
ucbvax!arizona!asuvax!mot!al
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DISCLAIMER: Any opinions expressed above are not necessarily the wampeters
of any karass, false karass, or granfaloon of which I am a member.