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From: evan@petfe.UUCP (Evan Marcus)
Newsgroups: net.bizarre
Subject: Re: An open letter to Moriarty
Message-ID: <448@petfe.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 23-Aug-85 16:21:02 EDT
Article-I.D.: petfe.448
Posted: Fri Aug 23 16:21:02 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 28-Aug-85 07:15:59 EDT
References: <237@pedsgd.UUCP>, <2569@vax4.fluke.UUCP>
Organization: Perkin-Elmer DSG, Tinton Falls, N.J.
Lines: 47

In article (2569@vax4.fluke.UUCP> Moriarty writes:
> In article <237@pedsgd.UUCP> bob@pedsgd.UUCP (Robert A. Weiler) writes:
> >I've been looking all over
> >the place for a John Fluke, but nobody in my area seems to carry
> >them. Can these be ordered directly from the factory? How much
> >are they?
> 
> *Chuckle*.  Bob, you poor, lovable chump, you.  When you see my organization
> listed as "The John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc.", it doesn't mean we manufacture
> John Flukes!  I'm afraid you've misunderstood our product line.
> 
> We are, however, working on a David Letterman model which has a projected
> release date by next February, and with a little luck, the Donna Dixon
> series should be coming off the line next summer, depending on how long the
> tan problem takes to solve.  I realize these people are "vaporware" at this
> point, but we wanted to be able to release a quality product to the public.
> Hey, if we were quick 'n dirty sleezeballs here, we could have hacked out a
> Jesse Helms model by Christmas, and I myself could have built a distributed
> Twisted Sister package out of a few orangutangs and leftover Chrysler spare
> parts and had it on the shelves last April.  But we do things the right way
> here, or not at all...

I, for one, Moriarty, am rather disappointed.  (I am taking the ball for
Mr. Weiler.  He works down the hall, and has opted out of this chat due
to his extreme embarassment over his misconception.)
I was under the impression that John Flukes were a particular kind of fish,
rather flat, that one might find swimming around one's toilet bowl.
There might be sport in catching them, or aiming at them, or something
along those lines.  But, since we have clearly made an error
regarding your product line, perhaps you would allow us to volunteer
to Beta Test the Donna Dixon model.  We will do a thorough check, and 
make sure you have licked this tanning problem. Anything to help.  

I was also wondering if there were any openings at JFM.  I would guess
that there would be big money in reviewing comic books, and running (the
long overdue) Stupid People's Court.  

Is John Fluke really a euphemism for network traffic??

(Does one even need a :-) in this group?)

--Evan Marcus
-- 
{ucbvax|decvax}!vax135!petsd!petfe!evan
                         ...!pedsgd!pedsga!evan

Kids, remember, please don't try stunts like this at home.