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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxn!ihnp4!ihdev!rjv
From: rjv@ihdev.UUCP (ron vaughn)
Newsgroups: net.flame
Subject: toothpaste dildos
Message-ID: <302@ihdev.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 1-Sep-85 23:57:00 EDT
Article-I.D.: ihdev.302
Posted: Sun Sep  1 23:57:00 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 3-Sep-85 00:50:00 EDT
Reply-To: rjv@ihdev.UUCP (R. J. Vaughn)
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories
Lines: 43
Keywords: toothpaste, dildos, mad, OU#1


yep, i'm mad as hell.  another small piece of my life is being taken away.  
in fact, another small piece of ALL our lives is about to be taken away.

what is we are all losing?  brace yourself.  sit down.  d e e p breath.
say good-bye to squeezing an extra day or two out of your toothpaste
tube.  like i said, this is serious.

i bought one of those "toothpaste in a dildo" items that is the latest
rage in toothpaste.  it looked like a hi-tech way to use toothpaste,  i'm
into gadgets etc., the "pump" that is supposed to be a step forward.

STEP FORWARD MY ASS!!  sure, it's great, hi-tech fun for the first
few weeks, but i wake up one morning, go in for some toothpaste,
and what happens??  NOTHING.  the toothpaste dildos run out -- BANG!!!
no warning, no nothing.  the pump simply refuses to work.  the little
ring inside the dildo chamber hits the top and THAT IS IT.  you'd have
to weigh the damn thing fer christ sake if you want to keep track of
how much is left.  i also tried a clear dildo, which should let you see
what is left.  but that is a crock also.  read on....

HEED MY WARNING!!!  any tube of toothpaste worth it's weight will let
you squeeze out two/three days worth of toothpaste after you are "out."
that gives you time to get the next tube.  but NOOOOOOOO.  i had to
steal toothpaste from my roommate just so i could go out that morning
and get a NORMAL ALL-AMERICAN *LOW*-TECH tube of toothpaste.  even
with the clear dildos of toothpaste, sure, you can see you are running
out, but again, BOOOOM!  you are out, morning breath and all.  there is
no way you can stand on it and get that *last* drop of crest.  it's a
scam to get us to buy toothpaste ahead of time.

is nothing sacred??  i've had enough.  this is another case of a product
we don't need or want.  


	pissed off in chicago,

	ron vaughn	...!ihnp4!ihdev!rjv

ps: if any of you female netters out there might have *ahem* some use
for a couple of long calendrical tubes with built in "pumping" capabilities
(provide your own filling), send me mail....  one white, one clear, both
used(errr, emptied).