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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxt!houxm!ihnp4!stolaf!umn-cs!srcsip!notch
From: notch@srcsip.UUCP (Michael k Notch)
Newsgroups: net.flame
Subject: Re: toothpaste dildos
Message-ID: <1171@srcsip.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 7-Sep-85 09:47:57 EDT
Article-I.D.: srcsip.1171
Posted: Sat Sep  7 09:47:57 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 9-Sep-85 01:12:51 EDT
References: <302@ihdev.UUCP> <2977@sdcc3.UUCP>
Reply-To: notch@srcsip.UUCP (Michael k Notch)
Organization: Honeywell SRC (SIP), Mpls MN
Lines: 54
Keywords: toothpaste, dildos, mad, OU#1
Summary: 

In article <2977@sdcc3.UUCP> ee161bep@sdcc3.UUCP (Paul van de Graaf) writes:
>In article <302@ihdev.UUCP> rjv@ihdev.UUCP (R. J. Vaughn) writes:
>>i bought one of those "toothpaste in a dildo" items that is the latest
>>rage in toothpaste.  it looked like a hi-tech way to use toothpaste,  i'm
>>into gadgets etc., the "pump" that is supposed to be a step forward.
>>STEP FORWARD MY ASS!!  sure, it's great, hi-tech fun for the first
>>few weeks, but i wake up one morning, go in for some toothpaste,
>>and what happens??  NOTHING.  the toothpaste dildos run out -- BANG!!!
>>no warning, no nothing.  the pump simply refuses to work.  the little
>>ring inside the dildo chamber hits the top and THAT IS IT.
>>
>> ... various assorted bullshit excised ...
>>
>>HEED MY WARNING!!!  any tube of toothpaste worth it's weight will let
>>you squeeze out two/three days worth of toothpaste after you are "out."
>>that gives you time to get the next tube.  but NOOOOOOOO.  i had to
>>steal toothpaste from my roommate just so i could go out that morning
>>and get a NORMAL ALL-AMERICAN *LOW*-TECH tube of toothpaste.  even
>>with the clear dildos of toothpaste, sure, you can see you are running
>>out, but again, BOOOOM!  you are out, morning breath and all.  there is
>>no way you can stand on it and get that *last* drop of crest.  it's a
>>scam to get us to buy toothpaste ahead of time.
>
>Hey Ron, No one FORCED you to buy toothpaste ala dildo!  So you tried it and you
>didn't like it.  Big deal, one day you have to borrow your roomate's toothpaste,
>don't CRY about it.  If you had half the sense God gave a dildo, you would have
>crammed a toothbrush up the end of the pump and squeezed out a couple of more
>brushings out of the thing.  I've done it; it works, so stop complaining!
>Another alternative is to take the thing apart to get the last drops out.  All 
>you have to do is crack the cheap plastic at the top.  I did this once to see
>how these marvels of packaging convience work.  In the top is about 2-3
>brushings of toothpaste.
>
>So you tried something and you didn't like it... well don't BUY IT ANYMORE!
>This is a free market system, the consumer votes by buying what he likes and
>passing on what he doesn't like.  If enough people don't like the bloody things,
>you won't see them anymore.  I happen to like the things... they are a lot less
>messy, and you don't have to bother with micro-mini caps.  If you are such a 
>miser that you can't afford having two tubes of toothpaste in case of
>emergency, CRAM ONE OF THE THINGS UP YOUR ANAL ORIFICE!!!
>
You sound like you have stock in the fuckin' plastic asswipes!! These things
stink and everyone should be well aware of it! How in the hell can you tell
when you are running out? You want me to circumsize the top of the plastic top
for just 2 or 3 more toothbrushes? Man I think you need to be put away!!

I have better things to do than to wake up in the morning and decide what I 
should do to my fucking toothpaste container! These things are clean to use, but
so is toilet paper!

In conclusion You should suck all the shittin' toothpaste out of one of the
plastic tubes and tell me how it tastes!!

Mk Notch.