Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site ganehd.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!ganehd!dld
From: dld@ganehd.UUCP (Darryl DeFreese)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Letters to the Welfare Dept.
Message-ID: <109@ganehd.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 13-Sep-85 17:43:30 EDT
Article-I.D.: ganehd.109
Posted: Fri Sep 13 17:43:30 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 14-Sep-85 16:53:15 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: Northeast Health District, Athens GA
Lines: 60

This has been circulating around my office for a while now.  It would be 
funny if it were *really* a joke...


		Sentences from Actual Letters Received by the
		 Welfare Department from Applicants for Aid

1.	I am forwarding my marriage certificate and six children.  I had
	seven, but one died which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.

2.	I am writing to the Welfare Department to say that my baby was born
	two years old.  When do I get my money?

3.	Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been visited
	regularly by the clergy.

4.	I cannot get sick pay, I have six children, can you tell me why?

5.	I am glad to report that my husband who was reported missing is dead.

6.	This is my eighth child, what are you going to do about it?

7.	Please find for certain if my husband is dead, as the man I am now
	living with can't eat or do anything until he knows.

8.	I am very much annoyed to find that you have branded my boy as
	illiterate, as this is a dirty lie.  I was married to his father a
	week before he was born.

9.	In answer to your letter I have given birth to a boy weighing 10
	pounds.  I hope this is satisfactory.

10.	I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my three children, one
	of which was a mistake, as you will see.

11.	Unless I get my husband's money soon, I will be forced to lead an
	immortal life.

12.	My husband got laid off from his job two weeks ago, and I haven't
	had any relief since.

13.	You have changed my little boy to a girl.  Will this make any
	difference?

14.	I have no children yet as my husband is a bus driver and works
	day and night.

15.	In accordance with your instruction, I have given birth to twins
	in the enclosed envelope.

16.	I want money as quickly as I can get it.  I have been in bed with
	the doctor for two weeks, and he hasn't done me any good.  If
	things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.

------------------------------------------------
Darryl DeFreese
Northeast Health District
...!akgua!ganehd!dld

DISCLAIMER: This disclaimer is not the opinion of my employer.