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From: lotto@talcott.UUCP (Jerry Lotto)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: corporal punishment...
Message-ID: <501@talcott.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 2-Sep-85 14:51:34 EDT
Article-I.D.: talcott.501
Posted: Mon Sep  2 14:51:34 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 4-Sep-85 05:25:38 EDT
References: <2149T3B@psuvm> <658@rduxb.UUCP> <1214@teddy.UUCP> <14@unc.unc.UUCP> <11316@rochester.UUCP>
Organization: Harvard Univ. Chem. Dept.
Lines: 60
Summary: Something that works for me...

In article <11316@rochester.UUCP>, ray@rochester.UUCP (Ray Frank) writes:
> > In article <1214@teddy.UUCP> lkk@teddy.UUCP (Larry K. Kolodney) writes:
> >	Discipline based on fear is worse than no discipline at all.
> > 
> I must pose to you a situation involving a parent child confrontation.

:loop
> Parent :    Time for bed.
> 4yr old:    Nope.
go to loop

> And so on,  What WOULD you do?

My three and a half year old daughter and I often run into this situation.
The solution we came up with can probably be ripped apart (I am interested
in hearing what other people think of this) but it WORKS!

When I get tired of the Nope game, I tell her to do the exact opposite.
It always is with a smile so she can distinguish it from non :-) no's,
(assuming I have any smile left), and it is always exaggerated.

eg.
P: Time for bed

C: Nope.

P: Okay, but you had better stay up ALL night and make a lot of noise.
You be sure to get good and tired before tommorrow so you can't
(do whatever good things are in store for the next day).

C: I'm going to bed! (looks around for escape route because she knows that
                      when she breaks for upstairs I am going to try to catch
                      her)

P: You had better not! (Bigger smile, the only way to differentiate
                        from a real NO)

C: (runs up to her room and dives under the covers)

Stories follow.

I make the reversal as obvious and ridiculous as possible. This succeeds
almost everytime I try it. To prevent overuse,

a) do not use in situations that are critical i.e. street crossing
b) do not use where the child can turn it around on you. If the above
   failed, I would have let her try to stay up all nite in her room
   as long as she does not come down to disturb us.

This has been suggested in various forms on the net for a while. What
other cautions do you think are wise? What problems do you forsee when
she is a little older (I assume this will get dated quite soon)?
I will summarize if any direct replies are of general interest.
-- 

Gerald Lotto - Harvard Chemistry Dept.

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