Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84 exptools; site ihlpg.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxn!ihnp4!ihlpg!sed408
From: sed408@ihlpg.UUCP (s. dugan)
Newsgroups: net.kids,net.legal,net.politics
Subject: Re: corporal punishment in schools
Message-ID: <1229@ihlpg.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 12-Sep-85 08:56:02 EDT
Article-I.D.: ihlpg.1229
Posted: Thu Sep 12 08:56:02 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 13-Sep-85 04:20:50 EDT
References: <1183@ihlpg.UUCP> <924@vax2.fluke.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories
Lines: 58
Xref: watmath net.kids:1972 net.legal:2326 net.politics:10952

> > [Sarah E. Dugan discussing THE TIMER method of discipline.]
> 
> 
> I've never liked the timer approach, even though our pediatrician really
> promotes it.  It is strictly punishement, having nothing to do with the
> problem.  The kids get the message that adults are able to make me
> miserable because they are bigger.  I prefer solutions that are directly
> related to problems as possible.  If the kid disobeys (I hate that word)
> and the result is some kind of mess, they may be required to help clean it
> up (even if the adult could in fact do it faster themselves).  If they
> misuse something, then it is taken away.  I'm not sure what to do about
> things like hitting neighborhood kids.  Our 2.75 year old has a little
> problem with this.  We keep talking to her about it.  ("People are not for
> hitting.")  We always try to treat her will all the respect we would treat
> an adult, as far as possible, given her age and experience.  
> 
>   -- David Jacobson
>      ihnp4!uw-beaver!fluke!jacobson

I guess I didn't go into enough detail about the use of the timer.  The timer
isn't just used in a vaccuum (I'm never sure how to spell that word!)  I
usually use it for behaviour which falls under ther general category of
"disturbing the peace" or stuburn refusal to do what I've asked her to do.  I
try to stay calm when I send her to "the corner."  I tell her directly what
behaviour of hers has made me angry/disappointed.  I tell her how I feel when
she does those things.  I tell her that this is the consequence of her
actions.  After the timer is done, and before she can go back to playing, I
ask her if she knows why she was in the timer. If she seems vague on that
point, I help clear it up.  I then hug her and tell her I may not always like
her actions, but that I love HER.  Then we're usually friends again.

I agree with what you said about using solutions that are directly related to
problems.  I make liberal use of that approach too. If Anne gets in a
destructive mode and starts to tear her books, they are taken away for a day.
If she has been told to clean up her room and doesn't do it, I get to have
whatever is on the floor when I go to clean up.  She then gets it back the
next day by doing something she has been asked to do without any arguments or
stalling.  The item I took away then doubles as a reward for appropriate
behaviour.

I hope that clears things up a little.


-- 

Sarah E. Dugan
"Home is the place where, when you have to go there
 They have to take you in.

                                       -Robert Frost
                                        The Death of the Hired Man

###########################################################################
# AT&T Bell Labs IH 1D-408                The Forest (home)               #
# Naperville-Wheaton Rd.                  1353 Crab Apple Court  Apt. 101 #
# Naperville, Illinois  60566             Naperville, Illinois  60540     #
# (312) 979 - 5545                        (312) 355 - 0445                #
###########################################################################