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From: sdyer@bbncc5.UUCP (Steve Dyer)
Newsgroups: net.motss
Subject: Re: hear, hear!
Message-ID: <51@bbncc5.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 31-Aug-85 13:33:53 EDT
Article-I.D.: bbncc5.51
Posted: Sat Aug 31 13:33:53 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 2-Sep-85 04:23:39 EDT
References: <240@decwrl.UUCP>
Organization: Bolt Beranek and Newman, Cambridge, MA
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>I couldn't agree more.  I can't believe my gay brothers (I haven't heard any
>lesbian women speak up here) think all bisexual people are mentally ill!  What
>a horrid thing to say.  The next liberational movement is reserved for bisexual
>folk, I hope. 
>\bob

I like to think that most of the cant about bona-fide bisexuals is coming
from a vocal lunatic fringe of the gay movement.  Most gay people I know
don't have much of an opinion about bisexuals as a class, except to lump
them in with gay people when it comes to civil rights.

Now, with that said, I think it's worth responding to some of Sophie's
neo-liberal painting of people as faceless automatons who might choose John
one day, and Jane the next, depending on how the whim might strike them.
Whether it is due to societal strictures or something innate, I think we
have to recognize that she is describing a Platonic ideal which has few
realizations in today's society.  Bisexuality today can describe many
different situations, from being in a monogamous relationship, to cheating
on your partner in a supposedly monogamous relationship, to having a
"bigamous" relationship with a member of each sex, to having an open
relationship, or identifying no relationship as primary, or even having no
relationship.  It's unfortunate that bisexuals as a whole get tarred by
individual observations which are hard to generalize, but I think there
are a couple of situations which are worth keeping in mind:

The married bisexual (which sometimes means married gay person) in which
that person hasn't come out to the spouse, yet is actively pursuing
entanglements with the same sex.  This is a very sad and nerve-wracking
situation for everyone involved.  Now, how does this differ from hetero-
sexual infidelity?  There are a lot of similarities, but usually there
is an additional clash of culture and values which adds to the strain.
Like it or not, this describes a lot of people who identify themselves
as bisexual.  Does this make them the "enemy"?  Of course not, but it does
seem prudent to enter into a relationship with such a person with your
eyes open to the possible problems and ethical dilemmas.
-- 
/Steve Dyer
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