Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site cylixd.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!akgub!cylixd!dave
From: dave@cylixd.UUCP (Dave Kirby)
Newsgroups: net.religion.christian
Subject: Re: Some Personal thoughts on coming to know God
Message-ID: <251@cylixd.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 5-Sep-85 12:33:49 EDT
Article-I.D.: cylixd.251
Posted: Thu Sep  5 12:33:49 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 7-Sep-85 07:30:17 EDT
References: <88@decwrl.UUCP> <408@aero.ARPA>
Reply-To: dave@cylixd.UUCP (Dave Kirby)
Distribution: net.religion.christian
Organization: RCA Cylix Communications , Memphis, TN
Lines: 170

In article <408@aero.ARPA> homeier@aero.UUCP (Peter Homeier) writes:
>... I would like to
>invite the Christians listening here to contribute their individual stories,
>of how they were saved, or rededicated their lives, or were filled with the
>Spirit.  I would suggest describing the experience mostly ...
... each one has a vitally important story to tell, because it was
>that way that the Lord Jesus chose to reveal Himself to you, and we can all
>profit by your sharing... [etc]


A wholehearted "AMEN" to that, brother! It's a real joy to see
something on net.religion.christian that fits the description of the
newsgroup ("Discussion about form and nature of Christianity"). I can't
think of anything that better fits this description than personal
testimonies from brothers and sisters whose lives have been touched
by the Lord. You can't believe the joy I felt when I ran across this
article after skipping through scores of articles filled with hatred,
personal slurs, and arguments from atheists flaming maltheists flaming
agnostics. I have gotten to where I skip through these articles, in
hopes of finding one which has something to do with the form and
nature of Christianity. Thank you for posting. I was getting tired
of that 'n' key.

My testimony? Well, it's nothing really spectacular (I mean, I'm not
a former drug-runner or mass-murderer miraculously saved through a
Damascus Road experience); but I'll go ahead and present it here. Maybe
it will be an encouragement to others out there who don't have a
mini-series-quality testimony.

Being the son of a Southern Baptist minister of music (translation
for non-Baptists: professional music director), I was brought up
as a child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. I had always
been involved in church-related things, sometimes more than I wanted
to be. At the age of 11, one Thursday night, I was lying awake 
thinking about God and all that I knew about Him. A very deep sadness
came over me as I began to see that, although I was raised in the
church, I had grieved the Lord many times from the sins I had done.
As I thought more on this, I broke into tears and asked God's
forgiveness; I was not motivated by fear of hell, but rather by the
same sorrow one has when he has hurt his best friend. As I cried my
eyes out over the sorrow I had caused my Maker, suddenly all the 
preaching I had heard about the Vicarious Atonement clicked in my
11-year-old head and made sense. My little mind suddenly understood
the meaning behind this theological doctrine. When I realised what
it really meant to me, I said Yes to the righteousness of Christ,
and No to my own works, and called upon God to forgive my sins and
give me a new life. For the first time I knew what all these terms
meant. They were no longer Christian buzzwords. They were a description
of what I was now going through.

But the next day I felt no different. No stars, no lightning bolts,
no great emotional feeling. I still found church boring. I began to
wonder, the following Sunday, if anything had really happened other
than just a good cry. I was unsure of whether God had truly saved me,
if I had done everything I needed to. Maybe I had omitted something.
But then I remembered that Jesus had promised Paradise to a thief who
asked Him simply "Lord, remember me when you come into your kingdom."
If it was good enough for the thief on the cross, then it was good
enough for me. I prayed the exact same words, "Lord Jesus, remember me
when you come into your kingdom." This time I knew I had done everything
necessary. I remembered "Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord
shall be saved."

Still no lightning bolts, though. I still had recurring doubts, but I
was always able to look back to that night when I had called upon the
name of the Lord, and I had God's promise that I would was saved.

In my college years, I began being bombarded by testimonies of people
who converted to Christianity and "all of a sudden, felt a new joy
and peace and ... (etc)". All of a sudden they were all gung-ho for
God, and I felt left in the dark. I had not felt any magic like these
people claimed to have felt. What was wrong? Have I really been fooled
all this time? Or are these just a bunch of fanatics, or people who
are claiming all this stuff because it is the "in" thing to do? (After
all, this was the early 1970's, at the height of the Jesus Freak
movement.) Maybe it was all a put-on. Or maybe I was the put-on. But I
could see that something was driving these people to talk and act that
way. And, whatever it was, it was making them awfully happy. They even
seemed to enjoy going to church! Think about it!

In February, 1974 I was attending a little Baptist church here in
Memphis, although I was not a member. One Sunday that month something
happened in the service that had never happened before and, to my
knowledge, has never happened since. It was like a warm, loving Spirit
gently came down and settled on the whole congregation. This happened
during the sermon, and it got thicker and thicker. I was not the only
one who noticed it. After the service I overheard several people
talking about the unusual presence of God that day. Well, when that
warm Spirit settled down and got to me, I suddenly realised that this
was what I was missing. This was the "magic" I had seen in others.
At the time it settled on the congregation I didn't understand what
it was, but I knew it was something I wanted and needed. I began to
wonder how you appropriate whatever this thing is. Apparently others
had it. How do I get it? 

Well, I sat through the whole sermon like that, soaking it in, in
case maybe I could take some of it home with me. Then we rose for the
invitation hymn. "I Surrender All." How many times had I sung that
as a child growing up in the Baptist church? That hymn and "Just As
I Am" are staples in Baptist invitations. I started to sing through
the song as always. But then we hit the second verse. "All to Jesus
I surrender, make me, Saviour, wholly thine. LET ME FEEL THE HOLY
SPIRIT, TRULY KNOW THAT THOU ART MINE." All of a sudden, in this
otherwise mundane hymn, I had encountered the prayer of my heart.
This Presence the church felt today was the Holy Spirit. I needed
to feel, not just possess, the Holy Spirit, so I could truly know
I belonged to the Lord. I prayed that verse right there, and then
the chorus hit me. "I Surrender All." So I surrendered everything I
had or was or was to be to God right there that day. And I asked Him
for His Holy Spirit to be real to me. I walked out of the service
that morning with a new spring in my step. But I was totally
unprepared for what was to happen that afternoon.

I was studying my Bible, as was my usual practice on Sunday afternoons,
when all of a sudden it happened. It was like the floodgates of heaven
burst open and overflowed my soul. The feeling is difficult to
describe. The best way I can describe it is: think of the most
thrilling experience of fun you had when you were a child, be it a
roller coaster ride, a baseball game where your team won, or whatever.
Multiply by 100. Then cram all that into about 15 or 30 seconds. I
looked down at my Bible when it was all over, and suddenly I saw new
meaning in the verses I had just been reading and puzzling over. I
turned to another section. I read and understood it, too. It was no
longer a mysterious book. The joy and peace that other Christians had
talked about were no longer strange to me, either. It was like going
from black and white into living color. The whole world seemed different.
Gone were my doubts and my confusion. I was feeling the Holy Spirit,
and I knew that I knew that I was Christ's! What a feeling!

I think I should mention one more thing that happened to me, shortly
thereafter. I was preparing a sermon I was going to give on my experience
before my parent's church in Georgia. (After this experience, I actually
felt a desire to preach! Think about that!) I was preparing notes 
on how a Christian has the Holy Spirit, but not the power, until he
"hooks up" with that power. I compared it to a car with a disconnected
battery inside it. The starter had the power available, but was not
connected to it, so it couldn't make use of any of that power. Well, I
decided it was also my duty to warn everyone not to go off on the deep
end like some of these people in the Charismatic movement, which was
splitting churches right and left, and causing people to go off on a
tangent. Some were claiming that they could speak in tongues, which we
all knew was a counterfeit of the devil. I began to pray over this,
and as I was praying I felt my lips wanting to move. I suppressed the
ridiculous urge; that would be like moving your lips while you're
reading. I kept fighting it, but finally gave in and decided to be
like an idiot and speak my prayer; perhaps the Lord wanted my to
pray aloud to Him for a while. So I did speak out. It came out in
another language. My first thought was, "Hey, this is neat!" But
immediately a second thought arose, "But where did this come from?"
Was this a trick of Satan to distract me from real prayer? I tentatively
struck out the part against speaking in tongues, pending further
investigation. I fought within myself over this for several months,
whether it was a gift of God or a trick of Satan. I finally came across
the verse where Jesus said that if you ask your father for a piece of
bread, he wouldn't give you a stone; so also your Heavenly Father
gives good gifts to those who ask Him. So I asked God to take away
the gift if it was not from Him, and I trusted that He would not
deceive me. He didn't take it away.

Well, that's my testimony. Many other things have happened since
then; I have grown some. But I'll cut it off here.


-----------------------------------------------------------------
Dave Kirby			"There is no great genius without
RCA Cylix Communications	 some touch of madness." - Seneca
Memphis, TN     ...!ihnp4!akgub!cylixd!dave

(The views expressed herein do not necessarily reflect 
those of RCA Cylix. They may not even reflect my own.)