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From: candide@ihlpg.UUCP (candide)
Newsgroups: net.religion.jewish
Subject: sex
Message-ID: <1160@ihlpg.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 30-Aug-85 14:12:07 EDT
Article-I.D.: ihlpg.1160
Posted: Fri Aug 30 14:12:07 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 31-Aug-85 21:25:57 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories
Lines: 64

I have some questions concerning the laws of sexual behavior which
are codified in Chapter 240 of the Orah Hayyim.

Most of the time Rabbi Karo uses straightforward language.  He says
``assur l<verb>'' or ``lo y<verb>'' or ``eyn <verb>im'' et cetera
to indicate that a course of action is forbidden.  If a course of
action is customary, but not required, he says ``nohagim l<verb>''
et cetera; if a course of action is neither customary, nor required,
but he considers it meritorious, then he will tell us in so many words
that <verb>ing is a sign of piety.  It is never hard to determine
Karo's psak [legal ruling].

Now we come to Chapter 240, and suddenly Rabbi Karo uses terms
with no agreed-upon legal meaning, terms we have never seen before.
For example, sexual intercourse with the woman on top and the man
on the bottom is ``derekh azzut''.  What kind of talk is that,
``derekh azzut''?  Is it assur or is it mutar [permitted]?  What does
Karo mean?  And why doesn't he tell us what he means?

Now, I happen to know the halakha in this case, so my question so far
is purely literary, not practical.  Rabbi Shimon Eider has rendered a psak
that it is best to perform the insertion with the man on top; however,
if the man cannot remain preorgasmic in that position long enough to satisfy
the woman, than they may occasionally have sex with the woman on top
so that she can have an orgasm too.  Such a couple should try to train
themselves eventually to achieve mutual satisfaction in the man-on-top
position.

When it comes to cunnilingus Rabbi Karo renders his opinion in strong
and unambiguous language.  Here there is no doubt, no possibility of
misunderstanding the psak.  It is forbidden even to look at ``that place'',
and certainly, certainly forbidden to kiss it.  And this leads me to my
question:

Why?

Why does the Shulhan Arukh forbid cunnilingus?  In which Gemara is the
halakha derived from the verses of Torah which Rabbi Karo quotes?
In addition to this, my main question, I also have several subsidiary
questions:

1) Why does Karo appear to use vaguer terminology in Chapter 240
   than in the rest of his work?  When it comes to sexual
   behavior, why does he not speak in a straightforward manner?
2) Why are there asymmetries in the laws of sexual behavior?  The
   Shulhan Arukh forbids a woman to enjoy cunnilingus, but it
   does not forbid a man to enjoy fellatio (if it does not lead to
   ejaculation).  On the other hand, a man is forbidden to fantasize
   about a woman other than the wife with whom he is having sex,
   but a woman is not forbidden to fantasize about another man!
3) Are there other rishonim [medieval authorities] who disagree
   with the Shulhan Arukh, either concerning cunnilingus or
   concerning other sexual activity (are any rishonim stricter
   than the Shulhan Arukh)?
4) If the answer to the above question is ``yes'', then whom do
   we follow?  Do we follow the Shulhan Arukh, or do we follow
   other opinions?
5) Does the halakha admit of extenuating circumstances, of the
   kind discussed by Rabbi Eider?  In other words, if a woman cannot
   reach an orgasm through genital intercourse, is she permitted
   to have cunnilingus occasionally?

Please respond to the net, as I am sure that the questions are of general
interest.