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From: friedman@h-sc1.UUCP (dawn friedman)
Newsgroups: net.religion.jewish
Subject: Re: throwing candy
Message-ID: <561@h-sc1.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 30-Aug-85 15:39:14 EDT
Article-I.D.: h-sc1.561
Posted: Fri Aug 30 15:39:14 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 1-Sep-85 12:38:59 EDT
References: <741@lsuc.UUCP> <3780075@csd2.UUCP>
Organization: Harvard Univ. Science Center
Lines: 43

> 
> Throwing candy at the Hatan when called up  for `aliyat hehatan  is an
> old Sefardi custom which is the fulfilment of  a Judeo-Spanish proverb
> to the effect that when a man  remembers the sweetest day  of his life
> he remembers the day of  his  marriage.  I believe  the refranero is a
> translation of a statement  in the 'Agadah  and will try  to track  it
> down.
> 
> For Sefardim `aliyat hehatan comes after the  wedding which is more in
> accord with   Jewish  ideas  about  marriage   and   which discourages
> honeymoons which are foreign to Jewish tradition and which are founded
> in  a concept of  sexuality quite  abhorrent to Jewish thought.  Every
> Hakam or Rabbi whom  I have seen comment on  this issue have condemned
> the practice of honeymoon.

Ok, you finally dragged me into this.  Exactly what custom of honeymoon
are you talking about, and how is it abhorrent to Jewish thought?
What concept of sexuality is native to Jewish thought?  What exactly
IS "Jewish thought"?  It certainly isn't "the thought of the Jews",
which is not monolithic; and every Jewish couple I know fled into
the night from their wedding to escape, unwind, and enjoy each other's
company in privacy before taking on the realities of life.  I'm not
terribly frum and I'm not an expert on interpretation, but I *was*
in the hidon ha-Tanach --the only non-yeshiva entrant in Israel, 
mind you -- and I know the laws about enlisting newlyweds, and I
know the Song of Songs.  Next you'll be telling me that Jewish 
thought denigrates the body and recommends flagellation.  I thought
the Sephardim who were criticizing Ashkenazi Judaism for becoming
Christianized were going too far, but I begin to agree with them.
  
I'd still like to ask the Sephardim, whose names I unfortunately 
missed, what culture of benevolence, tolerance, and civilization
they are using as a reference when they denounce European society
for its lack of those qualities.  Is the treatment of Jews in
the Arab countries being held up as an ideal?  Or is there some
other country which has gently sheltered the Sephardim from the
persecutions suffered by the Ashkenazim, which has concentrated
on the true arts of civilization and not on "technical expertise",
and which I hadn't heard of?  Save my place!!!
  
                                                        dsf
                                                    (Shacharah)
                                                 (the only flamer)