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From: matt@brl-tgr.ARPA (Matthew Rosenblatt )
Newsgroups: net.religion.jewish
Subject: Re: throwing candy
Message-ID: <1186@brl-tgr.ARPA>
Date: Tue, 3-Sep-85 12:21:08 EDT
Article-I.D.: brl-tgr.1186
Posted: Tue Sep  3 12:21:08 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 5-Sep-85 08:03:10 EDT
References: <741@lsuc.UUCP> <3780075@csd2.UUCP> <561@h-sc1.UUCP>
Organization: Ballistic Research Lab
Lines: 31

> > For Sefardim `aliyat hehatan comes after the  wedding which is more in
> > accord with   Jewish  ideas  about  marriage   and   which discourages
> > honeymoons which are foreign to Jewish tradition and which are founded
> > in  a concept of  sexuality quite  abhorrent to Jewish thought.  Every
> > Hakam or Rabbi whom  I have seen comment on  this issue have condemned
> > the practice of honeymoon.
> 
> Ok, you finally dragged me into this.  Exactly what custom of honeymoon
> are you talking about, and how is it abhorrent to Jewish thought?
> What concept of sexuality is native to Jewish thought?  What exactly
> IS "Jewish thought"?  It certainly isn't "the thought of the Jews",
> which is not monolithic; and every Jewish couple I know fled into
> the night from their wedding to escape, unwind, and enjoy each other's
> company in privacy before taking on the realities of life.  I'm not
> terribly frum and I'm not an expert on interpretation, but I *was*
> in the hidon ha-Tanach --the only non-yeshiva entrant in Israel, 
> mind you -- and I know the laws about enlisting newlyweds, and I
> know the Song of Songs.  Next you'll be telling me that Jewish 
> thought denigrates the body and recommends flagellation.  I thought
> the Sephardim who were criticizing Ashkenazi Judaism for becoming
> Christianized were going too far, but I begin to agree with them.
> (DAWN FRIEDMAN)

The bride is supposed to be a virgin.  As soon as the marriage is
consummated, she becomes a niddah, probably for a few weeks.  What
newly-married couple is going to waste time and money going on a trip
during a period when they can't even touch each other?  They can
"enjoy each other's company in privacy" in their own new home,
without following the non-Jewish custom of "honeymoon."

					-- Matt Rosenblatt