Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2.fluke 9/24/84; site vax1.fluke.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxt!houxm!vax135!cornell!uw-beaver!fluke!tron From: tron@fluke.UUCP (Peter Barbee) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: living alone Message-ID: <1134@vax1.fluke.UUCP> Date: Tue, 27-Aug-85 15:42:16 EDT Article-I.D.: vax1.1134 Posted: Tue Aug 27 15:42:16 1985 Date-Received: Wed, 28-Aug-85 09:43:45 EDT References: <1296@hound.UUCP> <5290001@acf4.UUCP> <140@unc.unc.UUCP> <256@gymble.UUCP> <1828@reed.UUCP> <1092@lumiere.UUCP> Organization: John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc., Everett, WA Lines: 51 I live in a group. I like it. I was living alone, and I can easily afford to live alone, but I like the home where I presently reside. I like it because when I want to reach out there is (usually) someone around to reach out to, and when I *need* someone to reach out to me they are there also. Mostly it is the little things, the little triumphs, that are now shared. Oh sure, there are some thorns in my rose bush, some obvious like a messy kitchen and scheduling showers. Or perhaps a woman friend is reticent to share my bed with my three roomates in the house (less of a problem than might you think, I like to move slow enough so this rarely comes up). Another issue that I have (I think) turned from a negative to a positive is the problem of sharing. All of the people in the house (we usually have 2 men and 2 women) naturally bring into the house different possesions, the question is; how well do we share? Say, for instance, that I have a nice set of mechanics tools. Do I set them out for everyone to use?, make a person "prove" s/he is "trustworthy" before letting them use the tools?, or just store the tools within my personal space and let it be known I expected that no-one would use them?. And if I do put them out for community use how do I react when they are not used in the manner that *I* want? Imagine my surprise, I decided to put them out and just mention that the tools had taken me some time to accumulate but don't worry if one breaks, they're just tools, and what happens is the trust I placed in my housemates is returned. In fact, the trust grows and prospers. We used to each pretty much buy food for ourselves and eat it ourselves. Now there is usually only one meal cooked in the evening and anyone home shares it, and we don't just buy food for ourselves - it is common for one person to buy a treat for some one else. We don't keep track of household money anymore, we trust each other that each of us are buying about equal amounts of dishsoap and TP (yes, women use more TP, but who cares?). I am, for me, in the midst of a socialogical (sp?) experiment in which I am both the experimentor and the experimentee. It's cool. Sure, it doesn't always work, but what does and doesn't is interesting. It was easier for me to release my posessiveness concerning my expensive sports car than concerning the tools I had been collecting for 15 years. Other roomates had other challenges and victories. Excuse me if this sounds like drivel, I don't mean to sound like I'm perfect or that I live in a commune. I'm not and we don't. Most of my activities are carried out with people that don't live at my home. Of course the real reason I live in a shared house is that I don't like to drink beer alone. Peter B