Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/5/84; site uwmacc.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!uwvax!uwmacc!oyster From: oyster@uwmacc.UUCP (Vicious Oyster) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: Living Alone Message-ID: <1429@uwmacc.UUCP> Date: Mon, 26-Aug-85 18:57:56 EDT Article-I.D.: uwmacc.1429 Posted: Mon Aug 26 18:57:56 1985 Date-Received: Thu, 29-Aug-85 08:22:07 EDT References: <478@lasspvax.UUCP> <1838@reed.UUCP> Reply-To: oyster@uwmacc.UUCP (Vicious Oyster) Organization: UWisconsin-Madison Academic Comp Center Lines: 75 < Chomp > My two-cents worth about living alone vs. not: From demillo@uwmacc.UUCP Mon Aug 26 17:13:56 CDT 1985: ****************************************************** Anyway, speaking purely for myself, the desire to live alone is quite strong, but it can be quenched quite unexpectedly. [...] It wasn't that I liked living alone, it was that my personality didn't get along with most of the other people I lived with. That is not unnatural either...it's very hard to mesh two personalities together with little or no friction. ****************************************************** I deleted a bit too much of this article (the part that dealt with different living circumstances and Mr. DeMillo's reactions to them), but I'd have to agree completely. I spent a year in a dorm with a total *sshole (though to be fair, the feeling was probably mutual :-), a year with another guy who started getting on my nerves after a few months (again, mutually), a blissful two-year period alone, a surprisingly enjoyable year with a friend (same sex), another year or so alone (a bit lonely this time, as it was in an unknown city), and a year and a half with the current SO, with 4 months of LDR thrown in for good measure. There are still a few things I miss about living alone, but in my case the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages, so much so that by the end of October, the relationship will be "made legal." From amc@whuts.UUCP Mon Aug 26 17:14:05 CDT 1985: ************************************************* I have always enjoyed the emotional satisfaction of living with someone else, even just a casual roommate. I have particularly enjoyed living with my SOs (I live alone right now); there are few things more comforting that having someone in the bed next to you at night. But I have discovered that with my SOs, I tended to pay less attention to myself, and frequently found myself wishing for a few weeks alone, just to be able to relax completely. It seems very difficult to be deeply introspective when someone you care about is around the house. However, I also suspect, since these relationships did not last, that that feeling may be due in part to the person with whom I was living. I do not think the feeling will ever go away completely, though. ************************************************* The wishing (needing) to be alone is the biggest thing I have to deal with. I am a fairly introverted, introspective person, and I *need* time by myself, with no human distractions. I don't know why (or care to know), but I function much better that way. It took a few tense discussions for me to convince my SO that these infrequent desires for solitude were not negative commentary on our relationship, but she understands this now, and indulges me. Also, since this is so important to me, it would probably rule out long-term live-in relationships (marriage included) if an SO couldn't handle this. I suspect you'll agree with this. From purtell@reed.UUCP Mon Aug 26 17:14:29 CDT 1985: **************************************************** I agree - in spite of how much I do love living alone, it does have it's unpleasantries. The biggest one that I've found (and yes, I am serious) is getting someone to kill/remove spiders for me. I have a horrible phobia of spiders. **************************************************** At last! Something I can disagree with! :-) During one of my stints of living alone, a largish spider took up residence in my bathroom. Rather than "remove" it, I welcomed its presence, to the extent of dropping friut flies and ants into its web for it to dine on. Dubbed Roderick, the spider soon became an important part of my household, and was visited by nearly everyone who stopped by to see me. One day, alas, after returning from an out-of-town job interview, I found that Roderick, in my absence, had left for greener pastures. My heartbreak was tempered only by the fact that, as a result of the interview, I left town several weeks later....but that's another story, better left for another time. Until then... - joel "vo" plutchak {allegra,ihnp4,seismo}!uwvax!uwmacc!oyster