Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/5/84; site reed.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!tektronix!reed!purtell
From: purtell@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Living Alone: Abnormal?
Message-ID: <1858@reed.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 27-Aug-85 18:14:59 EDT
Article-I.D.: reed.1858
Posted: Tue Aug 27 18:14:59 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 29-Aug-85 22:05:13 EDT
References: <1296@hound.UUCP> <5290001@acf4.UUCP> <140@unc.unc.UUCP> <256@gymble.UUCP> <1828@reed.UUCP> <1708@hao.UUCP> <243@whuts.UUCP>
Reply-To: purtell@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva)
Organization: Reed College, Portland, Oregon
Lines: 46
Summary: 

In article <243@whuts.UUCP> amc@whuts.UUCP (Andy Cohill) writes:
>Greg says: 
>
>> I like having complete control
>> over my environment. 
>
>Ah! There is that word "control". That is the "problem" with sharing
>your life with someone else--you have to trust that person.

	No, no, no. The problem (at least for a lot of people) with sharing
your life with someone is not having to trust someone. It means a great
deal of work, effort, and compromise. To some of us the trade off just
isn't worth it. 

>> .... It's a tradeoff: for more closeness you get less "freedom" (for
>> lack of a better word to use).
>
>I have a better word: irresponsibility. For more closeness you get
>less irresponsibility. It gets confused with "freedom" very
>frequently. 

	Boy, I'm glad that I read this on a day when I happened to be in
fantastic mood, Andy, otherwise this probably would have made me angry.
I really don't see how you can call having the freedom to live where you
please and how you please to be irresponsibility. It means that you
don't have to be responsible to one particular person, but that doesn't
mean that you don't have to be responsible to your job, your friends,
yourself, and children if you have any. I live alone, but I still have a
responsibility to my job, my classes (especially), my friends, and
myself. I keep up on my homework, I do my job, and my apartment is usually
fairly clean (don't say a word Rick - just don't say a word.) And being
close to a person doesn't necessarily make you responisble. I bet that
we all know people who are married but who aren't really very
responsible. Why can't you just accept this fact Andy - some people
prefer to be married or "with someone" and some people prefer not to.
And that doesn't make those of us who prefer not to be with someone
any less responsible, caring, or giving individuals. 

	cheers -

	elizabeth g. purtell

	(Lady Godiva)

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential
is invisible to the eye."