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From: norman@lasspvax.UUCP (Norman Ramsey)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Living with other people
Message-ID: <494@lasspvax.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 28-Aug-85 16:18:15 EDT
Article-I.D.: lasspvax.494
Posted: Wed Aug 28 16:18:15 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 31-Aug-85 05:15:46 EDT
References: <493@lasspvax.UUCP>
Reply-To: norman@lasspvax.UUCP (Norman Ramsey)
Organization: LASSP, Cornell University
Lines: 43
Summary: 


I'm really enjoying this discussion, folks...

One thing I'd be interested in learning more about is how people have dealt
with the problems that come up in a community living situation. This last
summer I have been living alone, but before that I lived with the same
fellow for two years. Before that (my last year in college) I lived alone,
but for three years before that I lived with people.

My most successful living situation (and it was dramatically successful at
the time compared with how other people were doing) was with two other very
strange guys. I think we had such good success because we brought very few
expectations into it, and we were very different. It helped that we were all
very active people; it was sufficiently rare for the three of us to be home
(and awake) at the same time that that was occaision for celebration right
there. I really believe that time alone is very important. I remember that
ever since I was a kid I have enjoyed "having the house to myself;" it is a
special feeling for me. Living alone is not the same; I don't enjoy it as
much when I have the house to myself all the time.

I was inspired by somebody's posting (sorry I don't remember who) about the
mechanic's tools; I am going to try to be less possessive of my things and
see what develops. Right now I am living with three other people and I am
the only one with a car. I just bought it (for $100, so that will tell you
what kind of car it is) and it is my first car (I held out as long as I
could). So I'm going to try to trust other people to use it...

By far the biggest difficulty I've had living with other people is dealing
with their expectations about what living together means. I tend to believe
that personal distance between roommates is very important; people living in
one others' pockets who try to get too close too fast seem to end up hating
one another. ANyone else out there care to comment?

Incidentally, I've found interviewing potential roommates to have little if
any predictive value. Have other people also had that expereince?
-- 
Norman Ramsey

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