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From: wfi@rti-sel.UUCP (William Ingogly)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Living alone
Message-ID: <385@rti-sel.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 28-Aug-85 17:59:55 EDT
Article-I.D.: rti-sel.385
Posted: Wed Aug 28 17:59:55 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 31-Aug-85 07:46:58 EDT
References: <1296@hound.UUCP> <5290001@acf4.UUCP>
Reply-To: wfi@rti-sel.UUCP (William Ingogly)
Organization: Research Triangle Institute, NC
Lines: 44
Summary: 

In article <242@whuts.UUCP> amc@whuts.UUCP (Andy Cohill) writes:

>I mentioned this in a previous posting, but I think living alone for
>too long can make you self-indulgent and intolerant, and the longer
>you live alone, the less likely it is that you will want to 
>share your life with someone else. 

You choose loaded words, Andy. Why "self-indulgent" and "intolerant?"
What does a lack of another person under my roof have to do with my
ability to relate to other people and care for them?

I have good friends I've known for 20 years or longer that I share my
experiences with. What exactly does "sharing" a life mean and why is
my life diminished if I don't "share" it with someone else in your
sense of the word?

I haven't mentioned this in a previous posting, but I think living
alone for a sufficient amount of time can make you realize that you're
a worthwhile person and lead to an increased respect for other
people's lifestyles. And the longer you live alone, the more ways
you'll find to share pieces of your life with many other people
rather than feeling you have to commit the whole ball of wax to a 
single partner.

Why do you feel obliged to lay things like self-indulgence and
intolerance on people who have chosen other life styles than you,
Andy? Especially when those people aren't sitting in judgement over
you.

>Although this will probably
>generate some heat, I do not think love is the prime ingredient in
>marraige; commitment is. ...

Depends on what you mean by love. Do you mean the first erotic flush
of a relationship that wears off after a few days/weeks/months/years,
or the kind of mutual respect and caring that grows after you know a
person as well as one human being can know another? Commitment to
making a relationship work is a key ingredient, but if you're 
totally indifferent to the person you're living with chances are 
good you're going to start looking elsewhere for mutual affection 
and a sharing of ideas. And a relationship that's held together 
by committment when there's no mutual respect can be living hell.

                       -- Cheers, Bill Ingogly