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From: wfi@rti-sel.UUCP (William Ingogly)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Living alone
Message-ID: <394@rti-sel.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 3-Sep-85 13:45:10 EDT
Article-I.D.: rti-sel.394
Posted: Tue Sep  3 13:45:10 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 5-Sep-85 06:47:58 EDT
References: <1296@hound.UUCP> <5290001@acf4.UUCP>
Reply-To: wfi@rti-sel.UUCP (William Ingogly)
Organization: Research Triangle Institute, NC
Lines: 49
Summary: 

In article <254@whuts.UUCP> amc@whuts.UUCP (Andy Cohill) writes:

>My original posting generated more mail than I ever would have
>imagined possible. I never said that the mere fact of living alone
>automatically made you intolerant and self-indulgent, I merely
>suggested that it was a possibility. 
...
>Just to keep things hot, I'll repeat what I said a few days ago:
>
>Why is everyone so defensive about my suggestion that living alone
>*might* make you a little less tolerant????

And being black doesn't necessarily mean you like watermelon and lead
a shiftless lifestyle but it's a possibility, right? The reason some 
of us responded the way we did, Andy, is related to the judgementalism
implied by your use of the words "intolerant" and "self-indulgent." 

Our fellow readers in this group might like to be reminded of the
context of your remark and my response to it:

>>I mentioned this in a previous posting, but I think living alone for
>>too long can make you self-indulgent and intolerant, and the longer
>>you live alone, the less likely it is that you will want to 
>>share your life with someone else. 
>
>You choose loaded words, Andy. Why "self-indulgent" and "intolerant?"
>What does a lack of another person under my roof have to do with my
>ability to relate to other people and care for them?
>
>I have good friends I've known for 20 years or longer that I share my
>experiences with. What exactly does "sharing" a life mean and why is
>my life diminished if I don't "share" it with someone else in your
>sense of the word?
>...
>Why do you feel obliged to lay things like self-indulgence and
>intolerance on people who have chosen other life styles than you,
>Andy? Especially when those people aren't sitting in judgement over
>you.

I think anyone with an ounce of objectivity will agree that my
response was hardly 'defensive.' Let me rephrase my question: exactly
what effect were you striving for when you used a loaded phrase like
"self-indulgent and intolerant" in your posting, and what did you hope
to accomplish by doing so? Are we supposed to learn something from
your use of a phrase like this, amuse you by posting irate flames in
response, or what? And what need does 'keeping things hot' in this
newsgroup fill for you?

                      -- Slightly unamused, Bill Ingogly